Another hard Night
Wow- 2 patients in 2 days. That really freaks me out a bit that I've had two people die. The one that died last night I had taken care of many weeks ago and discharged her back home. She had complications, ended up in the hospital basically to be opened up on the operating room table, closed, because everything was dying. We tried to make it comfortable for her last night with the medicine for pain and anxiety...but she passed at the very end of my shift with about 30 family members by her side. I stayed an extra hour to "prepare" her body. I just felt like it was my responsibility. Most would shun from this task, but the new nurse coming on the floor had never even worked on our floor or known the woman. I had talked with her and taken care of her multiple times, in fact she was the best IV stuck I ever did also. I had so many memories and it was hard to let her go. It's hard even as a nurse to disconnect. How can you unless you really don't have a heart or a soul? When the doctor pronounced her, I teared up and had to hold back the tears with everything I had. I cried on the way out of the hospital and in the car. I took all the artificial tubes and multiple things out of her, got her bathed, dressed, and all so the family could come in and see her in peace. As hard as the two days, two patients dying has been, it's kinda been a revelation to me also...am I cut out for this? When these patients have died it is sorta like I enjoyed being there at the last minutes, sharing with the family, and doing everything I could, even it was as small as fluffing a pillow, getting a cold rag, etc, or giving medications to make them comfortable. Just to let them know that I care, and that I took care of them till the last minute. As I was cleaning the patient last night another nurse came in and was really surprised I even took the time to clean up the patient and change gowns, etc. I dunno, I think even though a person has passed, that doesn't mean they shouldn't get respect or dignity...if anytime I think that is the time they deserve it the most...when they don't know. It's hard but something inside of me clicked thinking I may want to do hospice nursing for a while. I REALLY love pampering my patients, giving them massages, or just making them feel well....just something to think about.
On other news I am SOO overjoyed that I have a few days off. I haven't been in the best of sleeping conditions for a few so...to actually get rest and not have to worry about waking up and going to work is very cool. I may put in some overtime this weekend on Saturday. It will be a good money making opportunity :)
My little W. is precious as can be. He's learned so much in the past few days when I've been gone. I think it's been awesome for his Daddy to get some time with him. *eek, he's making grunts in the background..lol* He's learning how to roll, and roll and roll some more. He reaches out for everything and he's super hungry, so I guess he's going through a growth spurt. He's really getting into toys now being a little over 5 months. I'm so blessed to have him.....
When I came home from work yesterday, after my 16 hour shift, C. has left me a rose on the table he had bought for me. The card said "We know it's not your birthday, mother's day, or wedding anniversary, we just wanted to let you know that we appreciate all that you do for us and our family, and that we love you very much", Love, C&W. Aww! He so made my day and week getting that for me. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I'm so glad that God sent him to me and also that things are better.....
Gotta go change this diaper :)
Ta ta
On other news I am SOO overjoyed that I have a few days off. I haven't been in the best of sleeping conditions for a few so...to actually get rest and not have to worry about waking up and going to work is very cool. I may put in some overtime this weekend on Saturday. It will be a good money making opportunity :)
My little W. is precious as can be. He's learned so much in the past few days when I've been gone. I think it's been awesome for his Daddy to get some time with him. *eek, he's making grunts in the background..lol* He's learning how to roll, and roll and roll some more. He reaches out for everything and he's super hungry, so I guess he's going through a growth spurt. He's really getting into toys now being a little over 5 months. I'm so blessed to have him.....
When I came home from work yesterday, after my 16 hour shift, C. has left me a rose on the table he had bought for me. The card said "We know it's not your birthday, mother's day, or wedding anniversary, we just wanted to let you know that we appreciate all that you do for us and our family, and that we love you very much", Love, C&W. Aww! He so made my day and week getting that for me. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I'm so glad that God sent him to me and also that things are better.....
Gotta go change this diaper :)
Ta ta