(no subject)
I felt truly sad for the first time today. That horrible sinking sick feeling you get when all the decisions you have made finally catch up with you. It was that times two. My life has become so incredibly fast paced and it seemed that today it all just slowed down. I am not heartless, I do miss some things. I'll never hear you tell me that I am pretty like a pony, or have you give me a bear hug, or ever lay in your nook again. I know I made the right decision but I cannot help but feel slightly torn. He really did try in the last year we were dating. He truly was my first love. We shared so much and I will cherish and learn from it all.
It's weird, this is the first time in half a decade that I do not have anyone but I could not feel alone if I tried. My life has improved significantly. I have finally started appreciating my life and I really would not want to be someone else. I have never felt so normal. It used to be that all my problems stemmed from factors I could not control such as my mother and father or Brian. I have moved out and away from my horrible parents, I broke up with Brian, and I have learned that my life is better without. Right now, writing this, is the first time I have barely shed a tear in a while. It feels good to be happy and not constantly cry sometimes for no reason because of how unhappy I am. I am finally truly happy on my own.
It's weird, this is the first time in half a decade that I do not have anyone but I could not feel alone if I tried. My life has improved significantly. I have finally started appreciating my life and I really would not want to be someone else. I have never felt so normal. It used to be that all my problems stemmed from factors I could not control such as my mother and father or Brian. I have moved out and away from my horrible parents, I broke up with Brian, and I have learned that my life is better without. Right now, writing this, is the first time I have barely shed a tear in a while. It feels good to be happy and not constantly cry sometimes for no reason because of how unhappy I am. I am finally truly happy on my own.