raw foods and other lovely things in life <3
i had a raw foods dinner at my house last night.. it was super yummy, with a few lovely people who came.
this was angelhair zucchini pasta with fresh pesto.. it was extra amazing and something i would love to make and eat again.
raw brownies, made by natalie love. they have nuts and dates and cacao in them, i think.. she made a delicious cashew icing for them too.
made by a sweet girl named michelle. they were raw chocolate truffles with pomegranate on top.. i think they had figs, peanut butter, avacado, and cacao in them. they were super fantastic.
all these dishes were magic! they were all yummy and healthy, and it was fun to try something new.. i believe that eating raw (if done carefully and right) is the healthiest way of eating, and i feel it's one of the yummiest, now that i've tried these amazing raw foods! eating raw foods doesn't have to be about just eating raw veggies and fruits.. it's so much more.. there are so many creative recipes and food ideas out there. i am hoping to keep this up and incorporate more and more raw foods into my diet.. the raw foods dinners are such fun too! and not to mention all of the beautiful enzymes your body is taking in when you eat raw...
i have been feeling.. magical and fantastic, but at the same time.. very disconnected from certain people. like my mama and sister.. i feel so different from them, and i allow that to create this disconnect that i feel. and that's not fair to them. of course, i can feel however i want to feel and my feelings are important and should be expressed, but i feel this... different perspective on them and my relationship with them. i love them very much, and it has nothing to do with the love i feel for them. but i have wanted some space from them..
from my mama because of a few things... i can tell that she doesn't necessarily approve of my doula, g. i think their personalities clash a little. they are both very sparkly, bright, strong human beings. i know that my mama thinks g is a little out there in fairy land.. not grounded. i don't agree with any of these thoughts.. i love g and she has been nothing but loving and generous towards me. my mama tends to judge and can be harsh at times... i think she also really wants to be a part of my labor and the birth of onyx. i do understand that, and love and appreciate her support of me, but i'm going to have g as my doula and labor support and i'm not sure how my mama is going to react to not being the main support.. i'm not even sure that i want her and my sister here with me during labor. to me, it sounds like too many people.. sam, g, my sister, and my mama. i would like to have some space and quiet during that time. i honor my mama's feelings, even the harsh, judgmental ones that i feel she has, because she as a beautiful human being is allowed to feel whatever way she wants to.. but it doesn't mean i flow with it. her and my sister tend to get very harsh about people. they will decide they don't like you because of a way you've expressed yourself (which is completely fine.. they are perfectly entitled to their feelings and opinions) and then it's like a hard barrier is formed between them and that person, and they don't mind saying demeaning things about these people they don't like. it's just not how i flow... i may not like someone's actions, and i have no problem expressing that to the person, but i'm not going to call someone a 'bitch' or hold onto a stagnant idea on who they are. people change all the time... like natalie was saying to me, we change every day.. sometimes in big ways and sometimes in very small ways. holding onto a harsh idea of who someone is doesn't serve me or them.. or what they could offer me or what i could offer them in life. these kinds of attitudes push me away.. and there is a little of this attitude from my mama towards g. and i love g, and i love my mama, and i don't want any of that energy around me.
and my sister.. she is lovely and i honor her just as she is. but sometimes i feel this coldness between us. of course, in all of this, i have a role and i know that everyone is a reflection of me, so i'm sure these things are saying something about me as well.. but i feel this lack of warmth, this feeling of not being appreciated. i love her, but sometimes i feel that whatever it is that we have, it can be very surface.. like there is a block in there somewhere.
i don't feel the need to say anything yet.. with my sister, i'm going to continue to love her and be open to her.. more open that i am now with her. i know i have a place in it too. and with my mama.. i will see how she reacts to the blessingway i have at g's dance center on friday. i will see how open she is to what i want for my labor and delivery and see what she has to say..
enough of that.. love is my true focus, love is my true love! <3
tonight i'm sleeping alone at home. sam's housesitting until friday, and it's not something that i felt like doing with him, so i'm staying at home. but i miss him, lots and lots. it's also lovely to have the space.. i was able to work on a few things that i needed to get done, without any distractions or interruptions. but i am looking forward to yoga tomorrow, and seeing people! lovely people! and there's going to be a guest instructor teaching the kundalini yoga class, so i'm very excited. i love new challenges and new ideas and newness <3
i went to the doctor's today and was checked for all the usual things.. i got to hear onyx's heartbeat, which is the best part. i have taken on the challenge of believing in myself and my power much more.. in creating whatever it is i truly want for myself and trusting the universe to help me. like with my blood pressure.. the numbers say it is rising, but i know that i am in perfect health, that onyx is in perfect health, that my body is balanced and whole and healthy. i do not let the numbers tell me anything.. i only allow them to tell me that fear is truly love. that fear is actually an angel that tries to frighten you, so that you look it in the face and do not run from it.. and eventually you see right through it, and you see that what was 'fear' is truly an angel that is love.. that is only in existance to help us humans, to overcome our fears and to learn to be courageous and trusting in ourselves and the universe. after all i have been through and all i have experienced and all that i have overcome, i will not let something scare me. i will trust that it is happening for a reason... like with marley's death, or when my mama abandoned me, or when i thought onyx had died and miscarried from me. these things have taught me not to let anything frighten me, but to take charge instead.. of all the small things and all the big things.
this week is super busy.. tomorrow is one of the relaxing, open days. only kundalini yoga and dinner with sam <3
this was angelhair zucchini pasta with fresh pesto.. it was extra amazing and something i would love to make and eat again.
raw brownies, made by natalie love. they have nuts and dates and cacao in them, i think.. she made a delicious cashew icing for them too.
made by a sweet girl named michelle. they were raw chocolate truffles with pomegranate on top.. i think they had figs, peanut butter, avacado, and cacao in them. they were super fantastic.
all these dishes were magic! they were all yummy and healthy, and it was fun to try something new.. i believe that eating raw (if done carefully and right) is the healthiest way of eating, and i feel it's one of the yummiest, now that i've tried these amazing raw foods! eating raw foods doesn't have to be about just eating raw veggies and fruits.. it's so much more.. there are so many creative recipes and food ideas out there. i am hoping to keep this up and incorporate more and more raw foods into my diet.. the raw foods dinners are such fun too! and not to mention all of the beautiful enzymes your body is taking in when you eat raw...
i have been feeling.. magical and fantastic, but at the same time.. very disconnected from certain people. like my mama and sister.. i feel so different from them, and i allow that to create this disconnect that i feel. and that's not fair to them. of course, i can feel however i want to feel and my feelings are important and should be expressed, but i feel this... different perspective on them and my relationship with them. i love them very much, and it has nothing to do with the love i feel for them. but i have wanted some space from them..
from my mama because of a few things... i can tell that she doesn't necessarily approve of my doula, g. i think their personalities clash a little. they are both very sparkly, bright, strong human beings. i know that my mama thinks g is a little out there in fairy land.. not grounded. i don't agree with any of these thoughts.. i love g and she has been nothing but loving and generous towards me. my mama tends to judge and can be harsh at times... i think she also really wants to be a part of my labor and the birth of onyx. i do understand that, and love and appreciate her support of me, but i'm going to have g as my doula and labor support and i'm not sure how my mama is going to react to not being the main support.. i'm not even sure that i want her and my sister here with me during labor. to me, it sounds like too many people.. sam, g, my sister, and my mama. i would like to have some space and quiet during that time. i honor my mama's feelings, even the harsh, judgmental ones that i feel she has, because she as a beautiful human being is allowed to feel whatever way she wants to.. but it doesn't mean i flow with it. her and my sister tend to get very harsh about people. they will decide they don't like you because of a way you've expressed yourself (which is completely fine.. they are perfectly entitled to their feelings and opinions) and then it's like a hard barrier is formed between them and that person, and they don't mind saying demeaning things about these people they don't like. it's just not how i flow... i may not like someone's actions, and i have no problem expressing that to the person, but i'm not going to call someone a 'bitch' or hold onto a stagnant idea on who they are. people change all the time... like natalie was saying to me, we change every day.. sometimes in big ways and sometimes in very small ways. holding onto a harsh idea of who someone is doesn't serve me or them.. or what they could offer me or what i could offer them in life. these kinds of attitudes push me away.. and there is a little of this attitude from my mama towards g. and i love g, and i love my mama, and i don't want any of that energy around me.
and my sister.. she is lovely and i honor her just as she is. but sometimes i feel this coldness between us. of course, in all of this, i have a role and i know that everyone is a reflection of me, so i'm sure these things are saying something about me as well.. but i feel this lack of warmth, this feeling of not being appreciated. i love her, but sometimes i feel that whatever it is that we have, it can be very surface.. like there is a block in there somewhere.
i don't feel the need to say anything yet.. with my sister, i'm going to continue to love her and be open to her.. more open that i am now with her. i know i have a place in it too. and with my mama.. i will see how she reacts to the blessingway i have at g's dance center on friday. i will see how open she is to what i want for my labor and delivery and see what she has to say..
enough of that.. love is my true focus, love is my true love! <3
tonight i'm sleeping alone at home. sam's housesitting until friday, and it's not something that i felt like doing with him, so i'm staying at home. but i miss him, lots and lots. it's also lovely to have the space.. i was able to work on a few things that i needed to get done, without any distractions or interruptions. but i am looking forward to yoga tomorrow, and seeing people! lovely people! and there's going to be a guest instructor teaching the kundalini yoga class, so i'm very excited. i love new challenges and new ideas and newness <3
i went to the doctor's today and was checked for all the usual things.. i got to hear onyx's heartbeat, which is the best part. i have taken on the challenge of believing in myself and my power much more.. in creating whatever it is i truly want for myself and trusting the universe to help me. like with my blood pressure.. the numbers say it is rising, but i know that i am in perfect health, that onyx is in perfect health, that my body is balanced and whole and healthy. i do not let the numbers tell me anything.. i only allow them to tell me that fear is truly love. that fear is actually an angel that tries to frighten you, so that you look it in the face and do not run from it.. and eventually you see right through it, and you see that what was 'fear' is truly an angel that is love.. that is only in existance to help us humans, to overcome our fears and to learn to be courageous and trusting in ourselves and the universe. after all i have been through and all i have experienced and all that i have overcome, i will not let something scare me. i will trust that it is happening for a reason... like with marley's death, or when my mama abandoned me, or when i thought onyx had died and miscarried from me. these things have taught me not to let anything frighten me, but to take charge instead.. of all the small things and all the big things.
this week is super busy.. tomorrow is one of the relaxing, open days. only kundalini yoga and dinner with sam <3