My beloved kitty
I am sad to share with you bad news. My kitty, my family's kitty Tiger, has passed away. I am devastated and my family is very upset as well. The house feels quiet and empty without him here. All I can do is cry for him. It hurts me to know that I'm never going to see him again, or pet him or take him to my bed. He was only 10 yrs old. Our other cat Bocho was 17 when he passed so I thought Tiger was still young, I thought we had more time with him, at least five more years. He had been sick before and he always bounced back and got better. Not this time. He used to be an outdoor cat as well, always living dangerously and yet he was always ok. When we had to bring him in, due to injury from a ferel cat, I thought, well now he's safe. No harm can come to him at home with us. We always know where he is and can give him love and protection. The irony is, he died anyway. We couldnt help him. I couldnt save him. I regret that I didn’t say a longer goodbye to him when they left to take him to the vet. I HATE that he died THERE, alone in a horrible cold cage instead of home with his family who loved him. My mother said he died in his sleep, that I'm selfish for at least he didnt suffer. But he was so much more than just a cat to us, to me. He was a very special animal, not just a pet, but a member of this family. I just cannot bare it. I look around the house expecting to see him in one of his various spots. I woke this morning, my ears listening, expecting to hear him meowing in the kitchen. I can't stand not to hear or see him, yet I look around and catch a glimpse of one of his toys or walk through the kitchen to see his area, his little kitty mat where his bowl would sit while he ate, remnants of the last mess he made as he enjoyed his meal. I dont want to clean it up. My heart aches and I can't handle the thought of removing his things, the house suddenly looking like he was never here. We had no warning that he was sick or even feeling that old. He was still cuddly and playful. Eating 3 cans of food a day like a healthy little piglet. Then I got home the other night and he was suddenly just sick everywhere. My mother said that they said it was simply old age, that his body was shutting down. But he was only 10!!!! It's not fair. Sometimes I worry, I feel this paranoia, Did we wear him out??? Did we do something to drain him too quickly??? Other times at least I'm glad to say that I spoiled him whenever I could. Turkey was his favorite food, dark meat only. This year after thanksgiving, my aunt gave me all of the dark meat to take home and I fed it all to him, over the course of a week of course, but oh was he happy. He had such a personality. He was smarter than most cats I've ever encountered...and I'm not favoring, it's just true. He was special, different than your average housecat. He truly interacted with us, contrary to what most people think about cats. He had a different relationship with all of us, different routines with each of us. When he was an outdoor cat he used to sit with my father for hours while he was outside gardening. Neighbors would walk by and ask if he thought he was a dog. I just feel this emptiness. I can't explain it...he'll always be in my heart and yet I feel like there's a hole, a void. Some of you may think this is all over the top, perhaps because you've never had a pet or perhaps because you never had a bond this strong with a pet. But he was a precious kitty. May the goddess be watching over him now.
~ Blessed Be ~
