Random thoughts
These days I've been thinking a lot.Thinking about the future and what exactly i want to do with my life after i finish high-school.I haven't even decided what university i should go to and considering that there are only 5 months left, this is a bad thing.I've realised that i want to do so many things like becoming a singer, starting an acting career, writing a script for a movie,becoming a detective, even trying to become a teacher.The order is random and i guess every single job among these would be a challenge for me.But the truth is that these are only my hidden and "almost impossible to fulfil" dreams and nobody, not even my parents or closest friends, know about it.
I guess it's an obsession i've had ever since i was a kid that brought these things to my mind again.I remember that i've always wanted to do something big and remarkable, something that i should be very proud of.Nevertheless, this is very paradoxical as i'm not the type of person who usually stands out in a crowd and does everything just to be noticed.NO.I'm shy and introvert and there are many times when i hate myself for being like this.I'm too afraid of failure and that's why i prefer to stand in the shadows all the time.But i still have hope that one day everything will change, that i'll regain my courage and i'll be able to confront anything that would stand in my way.
So, i haven't come to any conclusion yet.I'm still uncertain and insecure and my father reminds me every day that i have to make a decision.My parents want me to go and study economy or engineering, but this is definitely not what i want to do my entire life.The engineering university is so hard and almost all the students are complaing about it.I can also take this as a challenge, but do i really want to torture myself studying something that doesn't appeals to me?I'm pretty sure i don't.I would have liked to study in UK, but now it's too late for that.I even gave up on sitting the IELTS exam, because it's useless if i don't go and study abroad.
In a few words, that's the story of my life.Always irresolute, never really sure about what i want to do next.
I guess it's an obsession i've had ever since i was a kid that brought these things to my mind again.I remember that i've always wanted to do something big and remarkable, something that i should be very proud of.Nevertheless, this is very paradoxical as i'm not the type of person who usually stands out in a crowd and does everything just to be noticed.NO.I'm shy and introvert and there are many times when i hate myself for being like this.I'm too afraid of failure and that's why i prefer to stand in the shadows all the time.But i still have hope that one day everything will change, that i'll regain my courage and i'll be able to confront anything that would stand in my way.
So, i haven't come to any conclusion yet.I'm still uncertain and insecure and my father reminds me every day that i have to make a decision.My parents want me to go and study economy or engineering, but this is definitely not what i want to do my entire life.The engineering university is so hard and almost all the students are complaing about it.I can also take this as a challenge, but do i really want to torture myself studying something that doesn't appeals to me?I'm pretty sure i don't.I would have liked to study in UK, but now it's too late for that.I even gave up on sitting the IELTS exam, because it's useless if i don't go and study abroad.
In a few words, that's the story of my life.Always irresolute, never really sure about what i want to do next.