dearest marie...
When you were 18 weeks old in my womb, the gynae told me we were having a boy. Mummy was so happy. Wasn’t that lovely. To have a child of each gender.
At the next appointment, the gynae announced that you were a girl, apparently your penis dropped off.
I was so disappointed. I was so saddened. Daddy, on the other hand, was elated to have “daddy’s girls.”
Everyone said that was such a shame. That I should try for a third child. That I should have a boy. That if I didn’t have a boy, I would be missing out. I believed them.
Even now, I still get the same drill from family, friends or even random strangers.
Heartland ah soh: “Baby so cute. Girl or boy?”
Me: (please, would I clothe my son in a dress?) “Uh girl, aunty. She’s wearing a dress.”
Heartland ah soh: Oh, both girls ah? (Gesticulating to both Andrea and Marissa) Try another one, sure get boy.
Me: (ya ya, order from catalog can already hor) “Hmm.” Smiles politely.
But the minute you came into the world, I knew you were different from your sister. I was overcome with feelings of maternal protection. I fell in love with your sister, but with you, Marie, it was love at first sight. I didn’t believe in that bullshit crap of love at first sight. What a load of utter bull, stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, I always thought. But you made me believe it. That someone could be consumed with feelings of love for another human being on sight.
Now I know. That people think I am missing out. But what they think, they don’t actually know. Because even I didn’t know. That to me any child - girl or boy, would bring me much joy.
That 2nd time parenting is so delightful because there isn’t that uncertainty about how to raise the child, no worrying if you’re doing something wrong. You can just enjoy the process.
I think you can never fully prepare yourself to be a parent of a first or second child.
Marie, I just want you to know that as much as you drive me completely insane with sleep deprivation, sulkiness, frowniness, cat fights with your sister and screaming randomly, I wouldn't exchange you for the world. I love you more than you will ever know.
Happy 1st birthday, my darling girl.
At the next appointment, the gynae announced that you were a girl, apparently your penis dropped off.
I was so disappointed. I was so saddened. Daddy, on the other hand, was elated to have “daddy’s girls.”
Everyone said that was such a shame. That I should try for a third child. That I should have a boy. That if I didn’t have a boy, I would be missing out. I believed them.
Even now, I still get the same drill from family, friends or even random strangers.
Heartland ah soh: “Baby so cute. Girl or boy?”
Me: (please, would I clothe my son in a dress?) “Uh girl, aunty. She’s wearing a dress.”
Heartland ah soh: Oh, both girls ah? (Gesticulating to both Andrea and Marissa) Try another one, sure get boy.
Me: (ya ya, order from catalog can already hor) “Hmm.” Smiles politely.
But the minute you came into the world, I knew you were different from your sister. I was overcome with feelings of maternal protection. I fell in love with your sister, but with you, Marie, it was love at first sight. I didn’t believe in that bullshit crap of love at first sight. What a load of utter bull, stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, I always thought. But you made me believe it. That someone could be consumed with feelings of love for another human being on sight.
Now I know. That people think I am missing out. But what they think, they don’t actually know. Because even I didn’t know. That to me any child - girl or boy, would bring me much joy.
That 2nd time parenting is so delightful because there isn’t that uncertainty about how to raise the child, no worrying if you’re doing something wrong. You can just enjoy the process.
I think you can never fully prepare yourself to be a parent of a first or second child.
Marie, I just want you to know that as much as you drive me completely insane with sleep deprivation, sulkiness, frowniness, cat fights with your sister and screaming randomly, I wouldn't exchange you for the world. I love you more than you will ever know.
Happy 1st birthday, my darling girl.