(no subject)
lol...I've been sporatically reading everyone's posts and it doesn't seem like times have changed really. Everyone seems to be doing what they always have been; dancing, drinking and partying. ;)
I've been doing alot of retrospection and I can't believe how much my life has changed in the past year. It was around this time that I started making alterations for the better i.e. getting out of the rut I had found myself in. I stood still and decided to take the path that was not traveled by. I've had to go surpass a few obstacles on the way, and I have lost friends, but it was probably meant to be. True friends love you for who you are, everyone has problems and changes eventually.
I never envisioned what this age of my life would be like. I never thought I would be doing what I am doing, but I love it! I feel as if I am on another plane of existence looking back at what I had been before, and being wistful as to everything that I am missing, but I know that I could not have stayed there forever. What I am experiencing now is more real to me than anything I have ever known. It just feels right, like it was meant to be, like I have come home. :)
I feel so priveleged to be a part of my boy's lives. :) I'm proud that my maternal instinct is being used to nurture, rather than hinder another's development. I have never realized love so deep before toward and from others, except from that of my immediate family. I am learning so much about life, about what it means to be alive. :)
The fact that I am able to have such an important influence in the life of a child is astounding to me. There is SO much to consider at all times. Manners, values, self esteem, physical and social development, health and well being, intellectual stimulation, routines, comfort level, and the amount of play time and fun they are having, in addition to the thousands of other things. It's such a huge responsibility to have such a big part in the future, because what is happening now will impact the rest of his life.
My mother always said that when you have kids you give up your life, because from that point on you live your life for them, and it's SO true. Every thought, every decision, every action must be taken with him in mind. It's changed every aspect of my existence, but I finally understand life from this perspective, and it's impossible to know how it is until you've been there. I have SO much respect for parents; I had no idea how challenging and rewarding it would be. I have talks with people who have kids and I learn so much. I want to have a guide book, as to what I'm supposed to expect and when, but they don't make them. My research skills have become completely invaluable to me.
I have difficulties connecting with people who have never had kids because it's hard to explain to them why I can't do the things I used to do, why I think and behave differently. I feel like I'm completely out of the loop and in all reality, I am. I got to leave early on Good Friday because we were slow, Khir was at daycare till a certain time, so I took advantage of that time to power grocery shop. I am SO different and totally domesticated now, but I do it because I enjoy it, and it needs to be done.
I feel awkward about even posting about this sort of stuff, because my mind processes are so much different now and it's extremely boring to most people, and they usually stop listening after you've commented about how smart he is, or cute he is, or how he did this the other day.
Last night we had easter dinner at my family's house, and then I came home and put together an easter basket and hid eggs. It seems rather boring compared to everyone else's lives, but to me it means the world. :)
"One hundred years from now,
It won’t matter what car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much I had in my bank account,
Nor what my clothes looked like,
But the world may be a little better
Because I was important in the life of a child."
I've been doing alot of retrospection and I can't believe how much my life has changed in the past year. It was around this time that I started making alterations for the better i.e. getting out of the rut I had found myself in. I stood still and decided to take the path that was not traveled by. I've had to go surpass a few obstacles on the way, and I have lost friends, but it was probably meant to be. True friends love you for who you are, everyone has problems and changes eventually.
I never envisioned what this age of my life would be like. I never thought I would be doing what I am doing, but I love it! I feel as if I am on another plane of existence looking back at what I had been before, and being wistful as to everything that I am missing, but I know that I could not have stayed there forever. What I am experiencing now is more real to me than anything I have ever known. It just feels right, like it was meant to be, like I have come home. :)
I feel so priveleged to be a part of my boy's lives. :) I'm proud that my maternal instinct is being used to nurture, rather than hinder another's development. I have never realized love so deep before toward and from others, except from that of my immediate family. I am learning so much about life, about what it means to be alive. :)
The fact that I am able to have such an important influence in the life of a child is astounding to me. There is SO much to consider at all times. Manners, values, self esteem, physical and social development, health and well being, intellectual stimulation, routines, comfort level, and the amount of play time and fun they are having, in addition to the thousands of other things. It's such a huge responsibility to have such a big part in the future, because what is happening now will impact the rest of his life.
My mother always said that when you have kids you give up your life, because from that point on you live your life for them, and it's SO true. Every thought, every decision, every action must be taken with him in mind. It's changed every aspect of my existence, but I finally understand life from this perspective, and it's impossible to know how it is until you've been there. I have SO much respect for parents; I had no idea how challenging and rewarding it would be. I have talks with people who have kids and I learn so much. I want to have a guide book, as to what I'm supposed to expect and when, but they don't make them. My research skills have become completely invaluable to me.
I have difficulties connecting with people who have never had kids because it's hard to explain to them why I can't do the things I used to do, why I think and behave differently. I feel like I'm completely out of the loop and in all reality, I am. I got to leave early on Good Friday because we were slow, Khir was at daycare till a certain time, so I took advantage of that time to power grocery shop. I am SO different and totally domesticated now, but I do it because I enjoy it, and it needs to be done.
I feel awkward about even posting about this sort of stuff, because my mind processes are so much different now and it's extremely boring to most people, and they usually stop listening after you've commented about how smart he is, or cute he is, or how he did this the other day.
Last night we had easter dinner at my family's house, and then I came home and put together an easter basket and hid eggs. It seems rather boring compared to everyone else's lives, but to me it means the world. :)
"One hundred years from now,
It won’t matter what car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much I had in my bank account,
Nor what my clothes looked like,
But the world may be a little better
Because I was important in the life of a child."