(no subject)
I've decided today that the only way I'll actually turn on my laptop and use it, is if it's actually in my room, or...on the deserted left side of my bed. I'll give this a test run, but considering the fact I'm almost never at home, my laptop would get slightly more use if I kept it at my boyfriend's house. Perhaps not. When I see him, I turn off that side of my brain that says, do work son. I can't win.
Really though. My sister told my mom today that I was basically a waste of "talent." Too bad "talent," isn't currently paying my bills, but I am paying them. I agree, though. It's moderately disheartening but, with our booming economy, I can't exactly say I'm thrilled about sending my resume out a thousand times, just to get stabbed in the ass. I'd rather avoid the discomfort.
But I'm trying, at least every other weekend (cough) and...today. I've also emailed past professors and generated responses in the nature of, you are one of the best typographers i've ever taught...don't sweat it (because I could suck graphic design cock....practically word for word.) Great ego boost, but get me a job, kthanks.
I do miss geeking out on the floor of Barnes & Noble, though, and getting those gay butterfly-ie feelings from seeing some really cool shit in books. I ought to try to do that more. And read more.
I have been reading more girlie magazines as of late (Most of which I was vehemently opposed to in the past, simply because it bothered me that some broad was telling me what dudes find attractive, how to make myself more attractive, what would make me good in the sack, all of this bullshit that I found completely superficial. I wasn't into the message. So I stopped reading Cosmo for years.) Anyway. I still have hot sauce in my pants for Country Living, (I'm a freak, I know) but.....today I read an article on the "Orgasm Whisperer," and I mean, come on, that's significantly cooler than reading about how to make homemade popsicles. I'm discovering the answers to a lot of random things that Google just....doesn't have the answers to. i.e., why do I have sloppy poops during the first few days of my period? What girl doesn't want to know that?
Honestly.
That's what my job is good for, reading magazines, not doing anything on my to-do list (that I also drafted up whist at work) and mastering solitaire. I have also Googled everything humanly possible that I ever might need to know. (Including the aforementioned.) I'm becoming increasingly more brain dead, and that's okay. Might I add, I oftentimes fall asleep for an hour upright in my chair. Terrible? Not when you're getting paid to dream.
Aside from work, life is great. I've spent a lot of time on JR's boat lately, and I'd have spent more if it hadn't rained in Boston for 9,003 days straight. Oddly enough, the rain didn't make me stir crazy or depressed at all. Is it weird that I kinda hate the sun? Does that make me some type of Vampire? Seriously. I walk to and from work and purposely try to find shadey parts of the street to walk in. I'm 3 steps away from carrying an umbrella around at all times. Creepy? Not if you're Michelle Jackson.
No, really. The sun is cool if you get tans, plan on wanting/having money for botox, don't get freckles, like sweating, or if you're trapped on a mountain in the dead of winter.....I'm not into any of that shit. Mostly, I dislike sweating without a purpose. Seeing as though I walk a half an hour to work, by the time I get there, I look like I was attacked by a gang of gorillas, it's not cute.
But I feel better when I do, and who am I really trying to impress at work? A group of 40 somethings that have nothing better to do than complain about what part of their body hurts on any given day. It has rubbed off on me, though. I'm a few days shy of taking an Aspirin a day and getting a colonoscopy.
Yeah right.
Not with the various forms of cardiovascular activity I partake in, ahem. Though, I am going to try harder to break purposeful sweat when I don't walk to work. Even if it's been especially difficult lately. I feel particularly blessed that I have a boyfriend who tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful daily, even when I look like shit, or that I look like I've lost weight, even when I'm bloated like a rat poisoned squirrel. He definitely says what I (and most girls) need to hear without me having to actually try to generate such a response. It's not like I'm gonna be one of those girls who whales out on their boyfriend, or just stops trying altogether, because she knows he's not going anywhere. I just feel like for once in my life, there's no pressure to constantly impress him, he sees me in the realest and rarest form-the prickly legged, unpainted toe nailed-cotton pantied person that I am (sometimes..) In light, he still thinks I'm hot. That's my boyfriend.
I could bore you with how awesome he is, how he massages my feet on a whim, or watches back to back episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, with me, but that'd be cruel.
What I can say is, I've been learning a lot about who I am lately. I may not be in the most ideal of professions, but I've learned so much about need versus want, and living a lot more simply. I have appreciated things, and people, a lot more than I ever have before. Although my life is still not completely settled, I feel completely content in knowing that if I keep doing what I'm doing, and listening to myself, that things will eventually fall into place.
Optimism? What a thought.
'Til next time.
<3
Really though. My sister told my mom today that I was basically a waste of "talent." Too bad "talent," isn't currently paying my bills, but I am paying them. I agree, though. It's moderately disheartening but, with our booming economy, I can't exactly say I'm thrilled about sending my resume out a thousand times, just to get stabbed in the ass. I'd rather avoid the discomfort.
But I'm trying, at least every other weekend (cough) and...today. I've also emailed past professors and generated responses in the nature of, you are one of the best typographers i've ever taught...don't sweat it (because I could suck graphic design cock....practically word for word.) Great ego boost, but get me a job, kthanks.
I do miss geeking out on the floor of Barnes & Noble, though, and getting those gay butterfly-ie feelings from seeing some really cool shit in books. I ought to try to do that more. And read more.
I have been reading more girlie magazines as of late (Most of which I was vehemently opposed to in the past, simply because it bothered me that some broad was telling me what dudes find attractive, how to make myself more attractive, what would make me good in the sack, all of this bullshit that I found completely superficial. I wasn't into the message. So I stopped reading Cosmo for years.) Anyway. I still have hot sauce in my pants for Country Living, (I'm a freak, I know) but.....today I read an article on the "Orgasm Whisperer," and I mean, come on, that's significantly cooler than reading about how to make homemade popsicles. I'm discovering the answers to a lot of random things that Google just....doesn't have the answers to. i.e., why do I have sloppy poops during the first few days of my period? What girl doesn't want to know that?
Honestly.
That's what my job is good for, reading magazines, not doing anything on my to-do list (that I also drafted up whist at work) and mastering solitaire. I have also Googled everything humanly possible that I ever might need to know. (Including the aforementioned.) I'm becoming increasingly more brain dead, and that's okay. Might I add, I oftentimes fall asleep for an hour upright in my chair. Terrible? Not when you're getting paid to dream.
Aside from work, life is great. I've spent a lot of time on JR's boat lately, and I'd have spent more if it hadn't rained in Boston for 9,003 days straight. Oddly enough, the rain didn't make me stir crazy or depressed at all. Is it weird that I kinda hate the sun? Does that make me some type of Vampire? Seriously. I walk to and from work and purposely try to find shadey parts of the street to walk in. I'm 3 steps away from carrying an umbrella around at all times. Creepy? Not if you're Michelle Jackson.
No, really. The sun is cool if you get tans, plan on wanting/having money for botox, don't get freckles, like sweating, or if you're trapped on a mountain in the dead of winter.....I'm not into any of that shit. Mostly, I dislike sweating without a purpose. Seeing as though I walk a half an hour to work, by the time I get there, I look like I was attacked by a gang of gorillas, it's not cute.
But I feel better when I do, and who am I really trying to impress at work? A group of 40 somethings that have nothing better to do than complain about what part of their body hurts on any given day. It has rubbed off on me, though. I'm a few days shy of taking an Aspirin a day and getting a colonoscopy.
Yeah right.
Not with the various forms of cardiovascular activity I partake in, ahem. Though, I am going to try harder to break purposeful sweat when I don't walk to work. Even if it's been especially difficult lately. I feel particularly blessed that I have a boyfriend who tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful daily, even when I look like shit, or that I look like I've lost weight, even when I'm bloated like a rat poisoned squirrel. He definitely says what I (and most girls) need to hear without me having to actually try to generate such a response. It's not like I'm gonna be one of those girls who whales out on their boyfriend, or just stops trying altogether, because she knows he's not going anywhere. I just feel like for once in my life, there's no pressure to constantly impress him, he sees me in the realest and rarest form-the prickly legged, unpainted toe nailed-cotton pantied person that I am (sometimes..) In light, he still thinks I'm hot. That's my boyfriend.
I could bore you with how awesome he is, how he massages my feet on a whim, or watches back to back episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, with me, but that'd be cruel.
What I can say is, I've been learning a lot about who I am lately. I may not be in the most ideal of professions, but I've learned so much about need versus want, and living a lot more simply. I have appreciated things, and people, a lot more than I ever have before. Although my life is still not completely settled, I feel completely content in knowing that if I keep doing what I'm doing, and listening to myself, that things will eventually fall into place.
Optimism? What a thought.
'Til next time.
<3