Need a rant board that doesn't come with judgements
I've been trying to be understanding... patient. Anyone who truly knows me knows how difficult that last part is. Problem is, it's been over eleven years... and I think my patience has found a limit. I have tried talking, it is avoided. I've attempted reason... to be told lies that make me emotionally crushed so I stop asking.These lies make me quit insisting they vocalize... cause I'm suddenly having to defend my reasons again... my feelings. As effective as this method is, it's cruel.... and intentionally hurtful... I can not keep doing this. As heart-wrenching as it is, I'm finding there are levels to our relationship that I have to close my heart off to. At some point this will lead to me slamming the door completely. I have not had a deep personal conversation since we were engaged. I have not felt valued in years (in regards to my knowledge and intelllect). Guess I'm good enough to still wanna screw... like that means anything in the large scheme of things. They could get that out of a pocket pussy or a prostitute. I feel beyond 'at a loss for words'.... yet I know to my core I have been betrayed, used again. I really thought I had been smart about things this time....