(no subject)
I'm irritated...I just want things to go back to being simple. I wish that I had never broken my arm, I wish that I had just said something as we were going around that curve, something like "slow down" or "we are going to get into an accident." but no, I just kept my mouth shut and now I am paying for it every day. I never knew that it would affect me like this. Not only has it ruin my credit, it has put an unbelieveable amount of strain on me and my friends. I hate to be given things, and I hate to feel pitied, and that is how I feel everyday. It is like getting started back at square one, except now I have to support myself, too. Unlike most people, who gradually work their way into the idea of work and paying bills, I am jumping off the high board right into the deep end...not to mention I am already drowning in the debt I have built up from this...I wish I could just start over, take things one day at a time, unfortnatly I have pressure coming from all angles to to this, be this, no thats wrong, thats a bad idea, why are you doing that, your irresponsible, your stupid, thats dumb...so to everyone who is doing this, please, for my sake, just back off for a minute, and let me try to find my place....I guess the real problem is I feel lost...and I can't find anyway out....on top of that, all the above mentioned things keep pushing me in different directions that are leading me who knows where...I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!