(no subject)
I sit and try to remember what was happening a year ago, approaching July 4th, and I am not quite sure I remember too clearly. In the technicalities, not too much has probably changed. I was working for Daymon, doing the whole eight to five deal. I was spending some of my weekends in random INROADS events. I was completely lost on the issues surrounding my future. I was living the life of a twenty year old.
Then there are always those minor differences that make all the difference. A year ago, I had not gone to study in China. I had not met a group of people that were so amazing to share the experience with. A year ago, I was still using a fake ID for what seemed like everything. A year ago, I was closer to some and had not yet met others. A year ago, I was not working two jobs due to my financial obligations for the upcoming year. And a year ago, the future had not appeared to be so close.
Perhaps it was because of all the workshops I have been attending for my internship recently. But I have been thinking a lot about my future. I do not even know whether I want to wear pants or a skirt tomorrow to work, must we really bring up issues like salary, benefits, location, education, job offers? I do not know what I want to do. The monitor holding the workshop went around the room and asked, "What is your vision? Give it to me in two sentences, be precise." I was at a lost for words. I had said something about fulfilling my obligation to the corporate world and then opening up something on my own eventually, a restaurant, a flower shop. He asked me when. I bit my lip and told him within ten years of graduation. That would be ideal, wouldn't it? Let us hope I end up so lucky.
I look like I am so on track with life, simply because I have done what society accepts thus far. As a rising senior, I am preparing for job interviews, updating my resume, and beginning to face the "real world" as if the past twenty one years have been fake. I have never been one that has like to procrastinate, but can I deal with this tomorrow?
Just this passed weekend, I started waitressing at a family friend's restaurant. The owner is a sweet, sweet lady, absolutely incredible to our family. So when she asked me to help her out for a month or so, I agreed, she would do anything for us. I know eight to five five days a week, plus five to eleven on the weekends is going to be a lil' rough, but I need the money. It is amazing how much time I spend working and making money, yet, my bank account reflects differently. I am not a big spender, but money goes so much faster than it filters in. Sometimes I wonder whether or not the money was ever there in the first place! As tired as I was, it was really nice to be working in a restaurant again. I love waitressing. It may be because I grew up with it. Nine years in a restaurant will do that to you. If I could, I wouldn't work my internship at all, and I would spend my summer just waitressing. I love the interaction I get with people and I love making feel good about themselves and relax. I know, I just started, give me a few more weeks. It just changes up the office life a little bit. I like it.
I am excited for this week. Number one, it is a short week because of the holiday. Now, in the past I have never been a fan of July 4th. I am not quite sure what does it to me, but the holiday and all the jazz that comes with it has always made me feel exceptionally lonely. Maybe it is the fireworks, maybe it is the barbeques, maybe it is all the people laughing together. Either way, I can remember many a times when I have sat there, watching the fire light up the sky and being so alone. There is no guarantee that I will not get that same inkling feeling this year, but I hopefully I will be spending it with Dustin, whether it be in Rochester or Oswego. No solid plans as of this moment, only that we will be together. If everything works out, I am considering leaving work on Thursday to drive down and spend an evening out on the lake with him before the holiday and hustle. I do have to be back for work on Saturday, but I know that the lil' getaway would be so theraputic. I guess we'll see how things go. Either way, like any other day, I just want to be spending time with him.
Alrite, I am getting antsy. Maybe a lil' tae bo before bed. Nite!
Then there are always those minor differences that make all the difference. A year ago, I had not gone to study in China. I had not met a group of people that were so amazing to share the experience with. A year ago, I was still using a fake ID for what seemed like everything. A year ago, I was closer to some and had not yet met others. A year ago, I was not working two jobs due to my financial obligations for the upcoming year. And a year ago, the future had not appeared to be so close.
Perhaps it was because of all the workshops I have been attending for my internship recently. But I have been thinking a lot about my future. I do not even know whether I want to wear pants or a skirt tomorrow to work, must we really bring up issues like salary, benefits, location, education, job offers? I do not know what I want to do. The monitor holding the workshop went around the room and asked, "What is your vision? Give it to me in two sentences, be precise." I was at a lost for words. I had said something about fulfilling my obligation to the corporate world and then opening up something on my own eventually, a restaurant, a flower shop. He asked me when. I bit my lip and told him within ten years of graduation. That would be ideal, wouldn't it? Let us hope I end up so lucky.
I look like I am so on track with life, simply because I have done what society accepts thus far. As a rising senior, I am preparing for job interviews, updating my resume, and beginning to face the "real world" as if the past twenty one years have been fake. I have never been one that has like to procrastinate, but can I deal with this tomorrow?
Just this passed weekend, I started waitressing at a family friend's restaurant. The owner is a sweet, sweet lady, absolutely incredible to our family. So when she asked me to help her out for a month or so, I agreed, she would do anything for us. I know eight to five five days a week, plus five to eleven on the weekends is going to be a lil' rough, but I need the money. It is amazing how much time I spend working and making money, yet, my bank account reflects differently. I am not a big spender, but money goes so much faster than it filters in. Sometimes I wonder whether or not the money was ever there in the first place! As tired as I was, it was really nice to be working in a restaurant again. I love waitressing. It may be because I grew up with it. Nine years in a restaurant will do that to you. If I could, I wouldn't work my internship at all, and I would spend my summer just waitressing. I love the interaction I get with people and I love making feel good about themselves and relax. I know, I just started, give me a few more weeks. It just changes up the office life a little bit. I like it.
I am excited for this week. Number one, it is a short week because of the holiday. Now, in the past I have never been a fan of July 4th. I am not quite sure what does it to me, but the holiday and all the jazz that comes with it has always made me feel exceptionally lonely. Maybe it is the fireworks, maybe it is the barbeques, maybe it is all the people laughing together. Either way, I can remember many a times when I have sat there, watching the fire light up the sky and being so alone. There is no guarantee that I will not get that same inkling feeling this year, but I hopefully I will be spending it with Dustin, whether it be in Rochester or Oswego. No solid plans as of this moment, only that we will be together. If everything works out, I am considering leaving work on Thursday to drive down and spend an evening out on the lake with him before the holiday and hustle. I do have to be back for work on Saturday, but I know that the lil' getaway would be so theraputic. I guess we'll see how things go. Either way, like any other day, I just want to be spending time with him.
Alrite, I am getting antsy. Maybe a lil' tae bo before bed. Nite!