should i stay or should i go
hey, finally an update.
nothing new really.
been doing a lot of lying and hiding stuff from rachel. so yeah. now i'm losing her. oh wait, sorry, lost her.
she said she'd give me 2 weeks to make it better, but the entire time she's telling me that she can't take me back.
so why the fuck am i even bothering to try?
i should just say fuck it so she can turn in her 2 week notice and leave sooner. i'm sure thats what she wants, since she "can't" take me back
about to say fuck it and tell her to go meet and fuck all the god damn guys she wants to. hell, she said thats what's she gonna do anyways to get over me. yeah, that made me feel real good.
i'm starting not to give a fuck any more.
the wierd thing is that as long as i'm pissed i can say this shit and act like it doesn't hurt me. but fuck, as soon as i calm down, i'm gonna want her to stay.
but wait, she "can't" so why should i fucking bother
fuck love, fuck relationships.
back to wishing i was never born. wishing i was with amanda, or amber, or fuck, even michelle again. i never had to deal with this shit when i was with them.
but what the fuck ever it doesn't matter any more.
on to other news. someone hacked my yahoo account so i had to make another one. i have a feeling i know who it is but its not like i can do anything about it so fuck it.
now the better news. my mom should be moving out this weekend so i'll have the place to myself, well almost, rachel will be here until she leaves, since its obvious that she "can't" stay here with me. so yeah, now i'll have to figure out how to come up with at least $700 a month so i can live here.
not too bad considering my mom will be paying $300 a month to help me out so i just gotta cover the difference, pay the electric, pay the cable, and oh yeah, food.
oh joy, i get to go shopping! and fucking cook. i fucking hate to cook.
i have a feeling there will be lots of canned food here that i just gotta shove in the microwave.
so yeah. thats all the shit thats been happening since my last post. anyone have any ideas as to what i should do about rachel? let me know.
oh yeah, my new yahoo account is Downed_pheonix
nothing new really.
been doing a lot of lying and hiding stuff from rachel. so yeah. now i'm losing her. oh wait, sorry, lost her.
she said she'd give me 2 weeks to make it better, but the entire time she's telling me that she can't take me back.
so why the fuck am i even bothering to try?
i should just say fuck it so she can turn in her 2 week notice and leave sooner. i'm sure thats what she wants, since she "can't" take me back
about to say fuck it and tell her to go meet and fuck all the god damn guys she wants to. hell, she said thats what's she gonna do anyways to get over me. yeah, that made me feel real good.
i'm starting not to give a fuck any more.
the wierd thing is that as long as i'm pissed i can say this shit and act like it doesn't hurt me. but fuck, as soon as i calm down, i'm gonna want her to stay.
but wait, she "can't" so why should i fucking bother
fuck love, fuck relationships.
back to wishing i was never born. wishing i was with amanda, or amber, or fuck, even michelle again. i never had to deal with this shit when i was with them.
but what the fuck ever it doesn't matter any more.
on to other news. someone hacked my yahoo account so i had to make another one. i have a feeling i know who it is but its not like i can do anything about it so fuck it.
now the better news. my mom should be moving out this weekend so i'll have the place to myself, well almost, rachel will be here until she leaves, since its obvious that she "can't" stay here with me. so yeah, now i'll have to figure out how to come up with at least $700 a month so i can live here.
not too bad considering my mom will be paying $300 a month to help me out so i just gotta cover the difference, pay the electric, pay the cable, and oh yeah, food.
oh joy, i get to go shopping! and fucking cook. i fucking hate to cook.
i have a feeling there will be lots of canned food here that i just gotta shove in the microwave.
so yeah. thats all the shit thats been happening since my last post. anyone have any ideas as to what i should do about rachel? let me know.
oh yeah, my new yahoo account is Downed_pheonix