Breath in, Bleed out
Im writing this on my last breath of consciousness. Its been and will continue to be a very long breath. I just got on another fight with my father and this is the one that broke the camel's back. Im moving out of here and in with Angela, at least till Dec. After that I dont know what I am going to do. I need to get a job, I am trying to hard that it is taking away from school, Im going to fail again this quarter, I cant do that. Everything seems to be going down the tubes, and guess what? When is this all happening? DECEMBER. I am never going to escape that month. Im packing some stuff up tomorrow to get out of here. I just dont know what to do anymore. I know that it is too unhealthy for me to stay. The funny thing is, I dont feel a hint of anger, just, disappointment. In myself for being blind and trying to believe something and change someone that does not deserve my time or effort as they will not change. And a poor fool I be for believing that things had change and that I could help make it better. The dreams of a child, when you are still invincible, and you can do anything. But once that first moment of betrayal happens, there is no going back. The innocence is gone, realization sets in, and a gateway is crossed that one cannot go back. I guess I finally hit that point. I cant go back....
Happier thoughts tomorrow on what happened on Sat. I had the most wonderful time/night I have had in a long time. Sad I had to come home to this. I quite enjoy my new Chad.
Happier thoughts tomorrow on what happened on Sat. I had the most wonderful time/night I have had in a long time. Sad I had to come home to this. I quite enjoy my new Chad.