on the fifteenth of May (in memoriam)
Well, I've been wondering about exactly I've been so fractious lately, then I remembered. Exactly today, May 15 nine years ago, my grandparents and my aunt were killed in a car accident. This also happened to be two weeks before my high school graduation ceremony.
It was the hugest blow, I can't even describe it. It rendered me numb for years afterward. Ever since it happened, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about it.
My mother was devastated, (being that it was her parents and sister), and sadly I wasn't much help. I don't why. I was so freaked out by everything that happened that I refused to go to the funeral. My dad yelled at me and said that he would basically disown me if I didn't go. I didn't speak to him for four months after that.
Nobody understood. Everytime I tried to talk about it someone would say some bullshit like, "There in heaven now so it's okay". Bullshit, this is not okay. We're all suffering but it's okay? Fuck that. Or, "I know just how you feel, my cay died a while ago". I'm sorry, but that's not the same fucking thing. Having your pet die and having to go to a triple funeral is NOT, I repeat, NOT the same thing. Unless the exact same thing has happened to you, you don't know how it feels. Trust me.
I haven't been to their grave sites since the funeral. I don't see the point. Same reason why I don't visit their graves with the rest of my relatives on Christmas Eve. A cemetery on Christmas Eve? I think not.
That's all I bear to write right now.
It was the hugest blow, I can't even describe it. It rendered me numb for years afterward. Ever since it happened, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about it.
My mother was devastated, (being that it was her parents and sister), and sadly I wasn't much help. I don't why. I was so freaked out by everything that happened that I refused to go to the funeral. My dad yelled at me and said that he would basically disown me if I didn't go. I didn't speak to him for four months after that.
Nobody understood. Everytime I tried to talk about it someone would say some bullshit like, "There in heaven now so it's okay". Bullshit, this is not okay. We're all suffering but it's okay? Fuck that. Or, "I know just how you feel, my cay died a while ago". I'm sorry, but that's not the same fucking thing. Having your pet die and having to go to a triple funeral is NOT, I repeat, NOT the same thing. Unless the exact same thing has happened to you, you don't know how it feels. Trust me.
I haven't been to their grave sites since the funeral. I don't see the point. Same reason why I don't visit their graves with the rest of my relatives on Christmas Eve. A cemetery on Christmas Eve? I think not.
That's all I bear to write right now.