Brooding. Gloom.
I think I now know why I have such low self-esteem. I use to think it was just Dad who didn't care, but thats just who he is. I know he doesn't show his feelings. I don't know why I expected so much more of you, mother. I now realize that you have put me down just as much throughout my life. You will always put me down. Maybe I am doing terrible in school right now. I am not blaming anyone else for my faults. Making me feel like I am worthless does not seem to help for some reason. From what I have gathered I feel that I will always be pessimistic. Some believe that it has led to my downfall this year. I don't know anymore. All I know is that I am sick and tired of being depressed, but every time I try to pick myself back up again, I always get shot back down. I try not to let people's opinions get to me, and I try not to compare myself to others. This ends up happening anyway, one way or another.
I just can't find my place anywhere.
Maybe I never had one at all.