...sad...
Life has been pretty wierd lately. The normal things are still normal, but some stuff has changed.
Gram is home...She was gone for a couple weeks. Mom decided she would turn into a druggie again, which really sux cuz she did this when I was little. Now I can see it from a different perspective. Two nights ago she decided she was gonna go out. Gram expected her home around midnight. Well that never happened...she just didn't come home. I remember so many nights when i was little I would sleep here, and she would never come home. Now Zach is going through the same exact thing. It hurts to watch...Then yesterday Gram tells me that she is gonna kick Mom out, and she was hoping Mom would show up to get her shit before Zach got home from school. Guess what time she got home...5 minutes after Zach got off the school bus. OF course, he was freaking out and having a fit that she was going to leave and he wasn't going with her. It made me sick to my stomach because when i was little and mom would tell me she was leaving and would be back eventually she always wore this long leather coat. Yesterday when she was lying through her teeth and telling Zach that she would be back in a couple weeks she was wearing a leather jacket...and looked just as junked out of it as she did ten years ago. GOD THIS PISSES ME OFF!!! IT hurts too I guess. I don't really think about the hurting part. The fact that mom just picked drugs over her kids...not for the first time, but THE SECOND FUCKING TIME!!! That is fucking ridiculous. She was never ever meant to be am other and doesn't deserve to have three awesome kids, but she does...and we all have to suffer for her stupid habits that are one day going to kill her. It wouldn't surprise me if it were sooner than later...and that scares me even more than her just moving out...Wow, I need to move on from this subject...I'm a little frustrated...can you tell??
Hmm, I miss Monica like crazy. She needed me the other night so I went over there to just give her a hug. She looked like she'd been crying for four days straight. Before I went over there I was in the worst mood ever, but after I saw her I completely forgot that I was even upset. IT was kinda nice actually. I brought her home yesterday so at least I got to see her. IT really sux she got grounded...at the completely worst time. We actually were getting along quite well...I miss her...she is utterly amazing...
Last night wasn't bad. Hung out with Justin, Blaine, and Christine. Had to bring Justin to Pittsfield to his moms. We had quite the ride on the interstate to Newport. Lets just say I found out my car doesn't have an automatic shut off on it...if it did it would have shut off at 110. That's all I'm saying. :-D I have so much fun when i hang out with those two...I just enjoy their company. When Justin is around Blaine he doesn't give a fuck...he is the fun-loving, stupid Justin...that I absolutely adore...THAT is my best friend.
Babysitting sux. That's what I'm doing right now. AT least it's just Caytie-Lyn, my lil sis. She is a sweetheart. Gram, Zach, and Bub went out to eat with Aunt Kathy cuz it's her bday tomorrow. Woot woot. They went to Applebees....BASTARDS!!! NOT FAIR!!! Well I'm gonna go now...
Oh yeah PS....DIE RIGHT NOW FUCKING ROCKS!!! They came out with their first cd...there is only four songs on it, but it's fucking amazing...two shows this weekend...Ushuais's friday...The Underground Saturday...Me and Blaine WILL be there...I can't wait...I'm so goddamn excited...
ok im really gonna go now...
Gram is home...She was gone for a couple weeks. Mom decided she would turn into a druggie again, which really sux cuz she did this when I was little. Now I can see it from a different perspective. Two nights ago she decided she was gonna go out. Gram expected her home around midnight. Well that never happened...she just didn't come home. I remember so many nights when i was little I would sleep here, and she would never come home. Now Zach is going through the same exact thing. It hurts to watch...Then yesterday Gram tells me that she is gonna kick Mom out, and she was hoping Mom would show up to get her shit before Zach got home from school. Guess what time she got home...5 minutes after Zach got off the school bus. OF course, he was freaking out and having a fit that she was going to leave and he wasn't going with her. It made me sick to my stomach because when i was little and mom would tell me she was leaving and would be back eventually she always wore this long leather coat. Yesterday when she was lying through her teeth and telling Zach that she would be back in a couple weeks she was wearing a leather jacket...and looked just as junked out of it as she did ten years ago. GOD THIS PISSES ME OFF!!! IT hurts too I guess. I don't really think about the hurting part. The fact that mom just picked drugs over her kids...not for the first time, but THE SECOND FUCKING TIME!!! That is fucking ridiculous. She was never ever meant to be am other and doesn't deserve to have three awesome kids, but she does...and we all have to suffer for her stupid habits that are one day going to kill her. It wouldn't surprise me if it were sooner than later...and that scares me even more than her just moving out...Wow, I need to move on from this subject...I'm a little frustrated...can you tell??
Hmm, I miss Monica like crazy. She needed me the other night so I went over there to just give her a hug. She looked like she'd been crying for four days straight. Before I went over there I was in the worst mood ever, but after I saw her I completely forgot that I was even upset. IT was kinda nice actually. I brought her home yesterday so at least I got to see her. IT really sux she got grounded...at the completely worst time. We actually were getting along quite well...I miss her...she is utterly amazing...
Last night wasn't bad. Hung out with Justin, Blaine, and Christine. Had to bring Justin to Pittsfield to his moms. We had quite the ride on the interstate to Newport. Lets just say I found out my car doesn't have an automatic shut off on it...if it did it would have shut off at 110. That's all I'm saying. :-D I have so much fun when i hang out with those two...I just enjoy their company. When Justin is around Blaine he doesn't give a fuck...he is the fun-loving, stupid Justin...that I absolutely adore...THAT is my best friend.
Babysitting sux. That's what I'm doing right now. AT least it's just Caytie-Lyn, my lil sis. She is a sweetheart. Gram, Zach, and Bub went out to eat with Aunt Kathy cuz it's her bday tomorrow. Woot woot. They went to Applebees....BASTARDS!!! NOT FAIR!!! Well I'm gonna go now...
Oh yeah PS....DIE RIGHT NOW FUCKING ROCKS!!! They came out with their first cd...there is only four songs on it, but it's fucking amazing...two shows this weekend...Ushuais's friday...The Underground Saturday...Me and Blaine WILL be there...I can't wait...I'm so goddamn excited...
ok im really gonna go now...