This week prompt
Title: The Beginning
Author: trollwinter
Genre: Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Slash implied
Pairing: John/Zep
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1007
Disclaimer: Don’t own anybody!
Warning: this is an Alternate Universe where Zep survives to work with John and Amanda.
A/N This is a “post-Saw” fic; I speculate what could happen if Zep survived the test:)
This fic is inspired by the Quotation: “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”~Mother Teresa
John entered the darkened room and stood in the doorway waiting until his eyes adjusted to the dark. He felt dizzy a little bit due to a knock-out dose of painkillers he had taken. Today the pain was almost unbearable, but he would hate to stay in bed and postpone this visit. Everything had to go to plan, he thought. He had to carry out his intention tonight, no matter how sick and exhausted he felt.
Thanks to the medication the pain was almost gone - although John felt weak enough, his mind was clear. Looking round, John discerned a slight man’s figure curled up on the bed. Zep. He slept facing the wall - John could hear his slow, deep breathing. John moved forward but reeled back suddenly, overcome by a fit of giddiness. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes struggling for breath. When his qualm of sickness was gone, he continued across the room. Staggering, he approached the bed and stood still, keeping silence and watching Zep sleeping.
Zep lay dressed above the blanket. He may have returned to his empty apartment, collapsed on the bed, too tired to undress, and fallen asleep right away.
More than a week had passed since John last saw him. John had to confess to himself that he missed Zep so much…
He reached down and placed his palm on Zep’s shoulder. He stirred and groaned faintly in his sleep, but didn’t awake. John sighed, reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on.
Zep cried out as the light came to life. He sat bolt upright on the bed, squinting and holding up his arm to cover his eyes.
“Hello, Zep! “ John uttered and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“John?!” Zep gasped.
He looked ill. John examined closely his haggard, scarred face and a deep wound on his temple.
It was quite natural. Those who managed to pass a test and survive would never stay the same. Their bodies became scarred and mutilated, but their souls emerged healed. Healed.
“How did you get in here?” Zep asked.
John shrugged.
“I had no difficulty doing that - just opened the door and entered” he said with a small smile.
Zep glanced thoughtfully at John and shook his head.
“Why…it doesn’t matter…Glad to see you again, John.”
“So am I, Zep.“
He moved up closer to him and looked deep into Zep‘s eyes. Healed. That loathsome, embittered look was gone - now there were only dismay and sadness in his eyes. John had already seen this haunted expression on Amanda’s face when she had met with John for the first time in person. He had driven away her doubt and fear by telling her that she had nothing to be afraid of, as there was the very beginning of her new life.
“How are you, John?” Zep asked.
John cast an ironical glance at the man before him.
“You are aware of my disease. Alas, the miraculous healing didn’t come, so you may guess how I feel. I’m on painkillers, Zep, otherwise I could scarcely talk to you.”
Zep nodded slowly.
“Yes, I see. I’m so sorry!” he said reaching his hand out to John. John caught Zep‘s wrist and clasped gently Zep‘s hand between both of his.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you!” he uttered.
Zep looked at him with bewilderment.
“But…you didn’t, John!”
He freed his hand from John’s and rubbed his fingers against his forehead. He looked embarrassed.
“John, I guess you know that…that -” Zep made a vague gesture with his hand. “You may know what I have -…what has happened - …That is why you are here, right?”
“Exactly,” John answered in a firm voice.
Zep mumbled something, burying his face in his hands. He sat motionless for a few moments, then he heaved a sigh and turned to John.
“I highly doubted that someone would wish to talk to me now -except detectives, of course. Now they’re more than willing to keep me company at any time” Zep forced a smile.
“Even so, I am here, “ John uttered quietly and put his hand on Zep‘s shoulder.
He wished he hadn’t been so harsh to Zep, but they both had no choice. This little man had become so close to John. He always enjoyed Zep‘s company, feeling peace and comfort.
But Zep had issues of his own - some obsessions which were destroying his personality. His weakness and wickedness. His sick shyness and, on the other hand, anger and hatred he kept to himself. This wounded, twisted soul obviously needed help that only John could provide.
Now, Zep received help and cure - even if it was in such a painful way. John guessed his wounds still hurt, but he had gained rebirth.
“Thank you, John…” Zep uttered under his breath covering John’s hand with his own. Now he managed to smile almost joyfully.
“The only thing I can’t understand is why he gave me a chance.” Zep said.
John tilted his head, showing a vivid interest.
“Who do you mean?” he asked.
“The Jigsaw Killer” Zep muttered. “Why did he give me a chance? I failed…”
John squeezed Zep‘s shoulder hard and shook his head.
“It is not true. You didn’t fail, Zep. You didn’t break the rules. I saw you writhing in pain. You were at death’s door, but you emerged cured, and it means that you won.” John uttered, enunciating his words clearly.
Zep‘s eyes widened. He gazed dazedly at John and seemed to be thinking hard.
John removed his hand from Zep’s shoulder. He didn’t smile any more, but his look was warm and friendly.
“You may have realized by now that I have lots of things to tell you. So, I want you to listen very carefully to me. Are you ready to listen?”
Zep nodded assent, fixing his eyes on John.
“That’s good. You have nothing to be afraid of, Zep - because this is the very beginning of your life!” John said with smiling eyes.
Author: trollwinter
Genre: Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Slash implied
Pairing: John/Zep
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1007
Disclaimer: Don’t own anybody!
Warning: this is an Alternate Universe where Zep survives to work with John and Amanda.
A/N This is a “post-Saw” fic; I speculate what could happen if Zep survived the test:)
This fic is inspired by the Quotation: “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”~Mother Teresa
John entered the darkened room and stood in the doorway waiting until his eyes adjusted to the dark. He felt dizzy a little bit due to a knock-out dose of painkillers he had taken. Today the pain was almost unbearable, but he would hate to stay in bed and postpone this visit. Everything had to go to plan, he thought. He had to carry out his intention tonight, no matter how sick and exhausted he felt.
Thanks to the medication the pain was almost gone - although John felt weak enough, his mind was clear. Looking round, John discerned a slight man’s figure curled up on the bed. Zep. He slept facing the wall - John could hear his slow, deep breathing. John moved forward but reeled back suddenly, overcome by a fit of giddiness. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes struggling for breath. When his qualm of sickness was gone, he continued across the room. Staggering, he approached the bed and stood still, keeping silence and watching Zep sleeping.
Zep lay dressed above the blanket. He may have returned to his empty apartment, collapsed on the bed, too tired to undress, and fallen asleep right away.
More than a week had passed since John last saw him. John had to confess to himself that he missed Zep so much…
He reached down and placed his palm on Zep’s shoulder. He stirred and groaned faintly in his sleep, but didn’t awake. John sighed, reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on.
Zep cried out as the light came to life. He sat bolt upright on the bed, squinting and holding up his arm to cover his eyes.
“Hello, Zep! “ John uttered and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“John?!” Zep gasped.
He looked ill. John examined closely his haggard, scarred face and a deep wound on his temple.
It was quite natural. Those who managed to pass a test and survive would never stay the same. Their bodies became scarred and mutilated, but their souls emerged healed. Healed.
“How did you get in here?” Zep asked.
John shrugged.
“I had no difficulty doing that - just opened the door and entered” he said with a small smile.
Zep glanced thoughtfully at John and shook his head.
“Why…it doesn’t matter…Glad to see you again, John.”
“So am I, Zep.“
He moved up closer to him and looked deep into Zep‘s eyes. Healed. That loathsome, embittered look was gone - now there were only dismay and sadness in his eyes. John had already seen this haunted expression on Amanda’s face when she had met with John for the first time in person. He had driven away her doubt and fear by telling her that she had nothing to be afraid of, as there was the very beginning of her new life.
“How are you, John?” Zep asked.
John cast an ironical glance at the man before him.
“You are aware of my disease. Alas, the miraculous healing didn’t come, so you may guess how I feel. I’m on painkillers, Zep, otherwise I could scarcely talk to you.”
Zep nodded slowly.
“Yes, I see. I’m so sorry!” he said reaching his hand out to John. John caught Zep‘s wrist and clasped gently Zep‘s hand between both of his.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you!” he uttered.
Zep looked at him with bewilderment.
“But…you didn’t, John!”
He freed his hand from John’s and rubbed his fingers against his forehead. He looked embarrassed.
“John, I guess you know that…that -” Zep made a vague gesture with his hand. “You may know what I have -…what has happened - …That is why you are here, right?”
“Exactly,” John answered in a firm voice.
Zep mumbled something, burying his face in his hands. He sat motionless for a few moments, then he heaved a sigh and turned to John.
“I highly doubted that someone would wish to talk to me now -except detectives, of course. Now they’re more than willing to keep me company at any time” Zep forced a smile.
“Even so, I am here, “ John uttered quietly and put his hand on Zep‘s shoulder.
He wished he hadn’t been so harsh to Zep, but they both had no choice. This little man had become so close to John. He always enjoyed Zep‘s company, feeling peace and comfort.
But Zep had issues of his own - some obsessions which were destroying his personality. His weakness and wickedness. His sick shyness and, on the other hand, anger and hatred he kept to himself. This wounded, twisted soul obviously needed help that only John could provide.
Now, Zep received help and cure - even if it was in such a painful way. John guessed his wounds still hurt, but he had gained rebirth.
“Thank you, John…” Zep uttered under his breath covering John’s hand with his own. Now he managed to smile almost joyfully.
“The only thing I can’t understand is why he gave me a chance.” Zep said.
John tilted his head, showing a vivid interest.
“Who do you mean?” he asked.
“The Jigsaw Killer” Zep muttered. “Why did he give me a chance? I failed…”
John squeezed Zep‘s shoulder hard and shook his head.
“It is not true. You didn’t fail, Zep. You didn’t break the rules. I saw you writhing in pain. You were at death’s door, but you emerged cured, and it means that you won.” John uttered, enunciating his words clearly.
Zep‘s eyes widened. He gazed dazedly at John and seemed to be thinking hard.
John removed his hand from Zep’s shoulder. He didn’t smile any more, but his look was warm and friendly.
“You may have realized by now that I have lots of things to tell you. So, I want you to listen very carefully to me. Are you ready to listen?”
Zep nodded assent, fixing his eyes on John.
“That’s good. You have nothing to be afraid of, Zep - because this is the very beginning of your life!” John said with smiling eyes.