I guess I've been kind of quiet
I usually write like mad when things are swimming in my head but I think I'm a bit paranoid now. I don't want to commit things to writing b/c they may come to bite me in the ass.
That sounds bad and kind of like I'm doing something wrong, but people manipulate written words so much and it's so easy to do that I just don't feel comfortable actually putting anything down on paper...let alone on the internet.
I remember when I felt this way with my last journal. I started this one and kind of didn't tell anyone...slowly adding people and slowly writing less in the other one. I don't know...I don't want to start another one...but I might.
I'm just...done. Really...there are so many issues that are starting to come up that are kind of "I told you so" 's of the whole situation at hand. I want to crawl back into bed...just lay there. I don't want to sit here and think about it all anymore. I just want it gone and done with so I can move on.
I'm not so unhappy with how things are going as much as I'm unhappy that some people seem to think that I feel more strongly than I do. Eff that. Making is seem like I'd be the one to make a scene. I don't know if I'd even smile and wave let alone say Hi and make a scene. Was it that he didn't want to see me out with friends having fun? Or is he really jealous...he always said he wasn't...but I don't know anymore. The more I look back the more I see it.
*sigh* I have to stop writing about it b/c I'll start saying too much and then feel uncomfortable and such. Blah.
So what's up with everyone else?
OH Here's some fantastic news: I got the kick ass job I had been interviewing for! I'm super happy...pays REALLY well, it's what I like doing, I'll be traveling and such and it has a lot of room for advancement. What do you think of that?
I need to sit down and write out my 5 year plan. I know things I want to do...but I'm not sure the order or how long it'll take.
Lorenzini and I are going to go get matching tats. LOL we're both on the outs with couples and the whole love thing...so we're going to get a half of a broken heart each. I think it fits. I miss hanging out with him. He came over last night with a few other friends and we all had a blast playing charades and talking about non-sense. It was good fun. I do realize how old I am though. They're all around 18 and 19...and don't really realize that making thumping noises at 1:30 in the morning kind of pisses off downstairs neighbors. lol But yeah...I guess I just miss hanging out with my friends in general. I used to talk to Lorenzini daily...and now I'm lucky if it's weekly...and I think it's a small version of how it is with most of my friends and that kills me a little inside to think about.
oh well. I'm super excited about all the changing in my life right now. It's all starting to settle again and it's better than it ever could have been before with certain influences. I'm just happy...for the most part.
Go to myspace and check out A Smear Campaign...I love them. They're my boys and theirs are the shows I've been going to lately. Also check out Medius, I just saw them last night and they're FANTASTIC. I'm super happy about being able to hang out with all the guys again:)
Ok...I'm done. Love y'all!
That sounds bad and kind of like I'm doing something wrong, but people manipulate written words so much and it's so easy to do that I just don't feel comfortable actually putting anything down on paper...let alone on the internet.
I remember when I felt this way with my last journal. I started this one and kind of didn't tell anyone...slowly adding people and slowly writing less in the other one. I don't know...I don't want to start another one...but I might.
I'm just...done. Really...there are so many issues that are starting to come up that are kind of "I told you so" 's of the whole situation at hand. I want to crawl back into bed...just lay there. I don't want to sit here and think about it all anymore. I just want it gone and done with so I can move on.
I'm not so unhappy with how things are going as much as I'm unhappy that some people seem to think that I feel more strongly than I do. Eff that. Making is seem like I'd be the one to make a scene. I don't know if I'd even smile and wave let alone say Hi and make a scene. Was it that he didn't want to see me out with friends having fun? Or is he really jealous...he always said he wasn't...but I don't know anymore. The more I look back the more I see it.
*sigh* I have to stop writing about it b/c I'll start saying too much and then feel uncomfortable and such. Blah.
So what's up with everyone else?
OH Here's some fantastic news: I got the kick ass job I had been interviewing for! I'm super happy...pays REALLY well, it's what I like doing, I'll be traveling and such and it has a lot of room for advancement. What do you think of that?
I need to sit down and write out my 5 year plan. I know things I want to do...but I'm not sure the order or how long it'll take.
Lorenzini and I are going to go get matching tats. LOL we're both on the outs with couples and the whole love thing...so we're going to get a half of a broken heart each. I think it fits. I miss hanging out with him. He came over last night with a few other friends and we all had a blast playing charades and talking about non-sense. It was good fun. I do realize how old I am though. They're all around 18 and 19...and don't really realize that making thumping noises at 1:30 in the morning kind of pisses off downstairs neighbors. lol But yeah...I guess I just miss hanging out with my friends in general. I used to talk to Lorenzini daily...and now I'm lucky if it's weekly...and I think it's a small version of how it is with most of my friends and that kills me a little inside to think about.
oh well. I'm super excited about all the changing in my life right now. It's all starting to settle again and it's better than it ever could have been before with certain influences. I'm just happy...for the most part.
Go to myspace and check out A Smear Campaign...I love them. They're my boys and theirs are the shows I've been going to lately. Also check out Medius, I just saw them last night and they're FANTASTIC. I'm super happy about being able to hang out with all the guys again:)
Ok...I'm done. Love y'all!