What if he is your prince charming but you are not his cinderella?

[angeleyez_03]

It sucks to realize that everything you ever thought was real was just a lie. How is it possible to love someone yet that person not have that love for you? The pain is sometimes unbearable when it hits me that he can so easily erase me from his mind, his heart, his life, and yet I am sitting here wishing I could have just one more minute of happiness with him. Its false hope that I live with each day because deep down I know its over. I know no matter how much I try, he's still going to look at me like I am any ordinary person, not someone he loves and is his world. Maybe he will never look at me again with that look of amazement and love, that look that lets me know he is only looking at me and nothing else around him matters. I am no longer his only, his everything. There are moments when I wonder, if that very moment he is sitting thinking of me, if my face has crossed his mind in the slightest bit, that maybe I am still in his thoughts because he is in mine. I need to make myself not need him, to not love him. Its hard to let go of something when you know how happy it once made you. How did almost 3 years of friendship become something so painful? Its so easy for him to ignore me, to go weeks without acknowledging my existence, and yet he tries to tell me that he cares. I don't understand how someone who cares so much can disappear so quickly. I can't continue to play games because each time I allow myself to let him back in the tiniest bit, I end up hurt, and my heart just breaks again. Its a continuous cycle that I can't let keep happening. It will hurt to take him out of my life but it will hurt worse to continue to believe he loves me when he doesn't. Apparently I am not what he wants, what he needs. My love is not enough to make him happy, I am not enough. I only wish that I was. I wish I could change everything, that I could make it better but I don't know how. I have done all that I know to do, and I am still sitting here alone, and I guess that is where I will stay. I will be here, trying to let my heart heal and my mind forget about him. I never thought it would come to this but apparently this is how he wants it, his life without me. I just hope in the end, for him, it was all worth it and that he is happy. As hard as it is to say thats truly what I want, is him to be happy even if it is without me. I just hope that one day I will find my happiness and be able to keep it forever, not for only a little while like I have been. Love is an amazing feeling but it hurts like hell when it is gone. As much as I try to hold on, it seems to let go, and I have to teach myself to heal all over again. And so I must again. Love never completely goes away you just learn to hide it and bury somewhere where you can't let it hurt you again.
If you truly care and love me, show me now, tell me now, before it is too late and I am gone...

I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
and I was crying alone tonight
and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
better than it ever was