My sweet Brutus!
This morning Daniel and I sat down with Maddy.. and explained to her that Brutus was very sick and that he may not be coming back home today.. It was beyond heart wrenching.. she said, "I love you Brutus... Good bye"... I sobbed.. and sobbed.. Then I went to CVS to have his ultrasound and to meet with Dr. LeGrange. She and her staff are BEYOND amazing and I can not say enough praise about them all.. I am SO thankful that she is the Dr that we met with today... and her assistant... they both are the most amazing people..
Well, the reason my sweet Brutus was so sick is because he had stomach cancer and had a very large mass as well.. His stomach lining was so abnormally large, the Dr told me she had never seen this before.. we talked.. about options.. what she thought I should do.. and there were no options.. he was very ill... he held on for a long time... for us... and I think he would keep holding on as long as he could.. but it just wasnt fair to him... he was in bad shape and would get in much worse shape very quickly...
Today, I lost yet another part of my soul... My sweet angel does not have to suffer anymore.. This all happened so fast and it is so damn hard to say goodbye to my dear friend/child who has been my shadow for 12 years.. I thank God for bringing him into my life... even if it was for a little while.. I know he was not mine to keep... I loved him enough today to let him go.. but I wont lie and say that I didnt think about how could we fight this? We couldnt... the battle was already lost... I am at peace with my decision.. as hard as it was... I was with him to the bitter end.. I know he is now with Chinno in Heaven.. no longer in pain.. he was truly an amazing soul...
RIP my sweet baby.. I love you so much! You will never know how much you will be missed!
Sir Brutus Newton
2/14/95~ 3/18/08