(no subject)
Elliott Smith really rocks my fucking socks off...
That was a random ass comment to sum up my completely random ass night.
McC called me yet again to get coffee with him. However, I was having coffee with the wonderful Ryan Bailey. But he did come and join us. I really can not stand the fact that he acts if nothing at all happened. ArrgH! Why does Ryan Bailey have to be right about everything and make me feel like a total piece of shit friend.
While on the subject of McC...
Christy and I had an incredibly enlightening conversation about the whole situation. And while it may be hard to do, I am going to try and not treat McC the same as I did before the whole "trash incident" (as I will now be refering to it) For some reason it is really hard for me to do so. But I do need to realize that McC hasn't really been that good of a friend to me. (as Morgan and Ryan had been trying to tell me for quite some time, but people make mistakes, right?) Because as I told Ryan, I've had as much, if not A LOT, more fun since McC and I stopped hanging out.
SO...
I feel quite foolish for not listening to my real friends. And quite disappointed in myself for not realizing any of these things until the "trash incident". So to Ryan Bailey, Morgan, and any one else that I didn't listen to...I am more sorry than you will ever know. I just feel that I wasted to much time and energy on Josh. I'm not sure if it was really worth any of it. Yeah, so that is exactly why I should definatly stop and think before I act as far as Josh is concerned.
DAMNIT!
Josh and I have had many many good times. I am sure that I will always look on those times fondly. And I feel like we really bonded at times and that he told me things that he's never told anyone. And that made me think that maybe our relationship was special. That must be why that it's so hard for me to just write him off.
But he's also done so much shit to me that I let him get away with. He fucking LIT MY HAIR ON FIRE. I have scars all over my arms from him biting me. He's made me cry on too many occasions. When he tells me something that I think he's never told anyone and he's really opening up to me, I'm not sure if he's even telling me the truth. He treats all of his "friends" like complete and total shit. He says that he can't stand "drama" yet he seems to create all of it. He has absolutely no modesty whatsoever. And he was going to totally write me off because of the people that I choose to associate with.
It's all such bullshit and I'm pissed that I worry about it as much as I do. But I'm glad that I got it all off my chest. I do feel a bit better now.
On a happier note...
I dyed my hair! I enjoy dying my hair so much. It's qutie crazy and I love it.
On a more sad note...
I dropped Sirius off at my Grandmother's house today. I hope that he will be happy with her cat. I'm sure that she will. Even those he is the spawn of satan I do love him.
But yeah, Elliott Smith rocks my fucking socks off.
That was a random ass comment to sum up my completely random ass night.
McC called me yet again to get coffee with him. However, I was having coffee with the wonderful Ryan Bailey. But he did come and join us. I really can not stand the fact that he acts if nothing at all happened. ArrgH! Why does Ryan Bailey have to be right about everything and make me feel like a total piece of shit friend.
While on the subject of McC...
Christy and I had an incredibly enlightening conversation about the whole situation. And while it may be hard to do, I am going to try and not treat McC the same as I did before the whole "trash incident" (as I will now be refering to it) For some reason it is really hard for me to do so. But I do need to realize that McC hasn't really been that good of a friend to me. (as Morgan and Ryan had been trying to tell me for quite some time, but people make mistakes, right?) Because as I told Ryan, I've had as much, if not A LOT, more fun since McC and I stopped hanging out.
SO...
I feel quite foolish for not listening to my real friends. And quite disappointed in myself for not realizing any of these things until the "trash incident". So to Ryan Bailey, Morgan, and any one else that I didn't listen to...I am more sorry than you will ever know. I just feel that I wasted to much time and energy on Josh. I'm not sure if it was really worth any of it. Yeah, so that is exactly why I should definatly stop and think before I act as far as Josh is concerned.
DAMNIT!
Josh and I have had many many good times. I am sure that I will always look on those times fondly. And I feel like we really bonded at times and that he told me things that he's never told anyone. And that made me think that maybe our relationship was special. That must be why that it's so hard for me to just write him off.
But he's also done so much shit to me that I let him get away with. He fucking LIT MY HAIR ON FIRE. I have scars all over my arms from him biting me. He's made me cry on too many occasions. When he tells me something that I think he's never told anyone and he's really opening up to me, I'm not sure if he's even telling me the truth. He treats all of his "friends" like complete and total shit. He says that he can't stand "drama" yet he seems to create all of it. He has absolutely no modesty whatsoever. And he was going to totally write me off because of the people that I choose to associate with.
It's all such bullshit and I'm pissed that I worry about it as much as I do. But I'm glad that I got it all off my chest. I do feel a bit better now.
On a happier note...
I dyed my hair! I enjoy dying my hair so much. It's qutie crazy and I love it.
On a more sad note...
I dropped Sirius off at my Grandmother's house today. I hope that he will be happy with her cat. I'm sure that she will. Even those he is the spawn of satan I do love him.
But yeah, Elliott Smith rocks my fucking socks off.