Our Limit for Great Expectations - Sawyer/Kate oneshot
These poems right here are the reason I can't stop writing about Sawyer and Kate...And I was really never the poetry type, but suddenly I'm addicted to E.E. Cummings (although, I keep wanting to capitalize all his "i's"...that's the OCD in me).
Anyways....moving on:
Title: Our Limit for Great Expectations
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Kate, Sawyer/Kate
Word Count: 1,656
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She thinks maybe he knows her well enough for the both of them. Happy, somewhat angst-free reunion fic...as close as I could get to angst free.
A/N: Written for quiet_rebel for the luau at lostsquee who wanted happy endings and had a preference for Skate.
They're like magnets.
She decides this, the morning they land on the island. The morning her eyes meet his for the first time in three years. There are thirty people on the beach waiting for their arrival. Most of them are gathered right on the shoreline, waving their arms in the air and shouting for joy.
Sawyer, well, he's towards the back, half hidden behind Juliet and Charlotte. Still, when Kate looks up, he's the one she sees. His eyes, bright and blue as ever, are staring into hers. She'd swear at that moment there was silence.
It's effortless, how her eyes are drawn to his in the midst of all this chaos. She looks down, has to, because Aaron is pulling on her pant leg, but she can still feel his gaze lingering on her.
She remembers being six, sitting at the kitchen table and rolling magnets between her fingers out of sheer boredom. The pull from the two sent imaginary currents through her fingers, which she'd giggle at. She remembers testing how much distance could put between them before that pull faded away into nothing.
This was being six all over again. How much distance could she put between them before she stopped thinking of him? She had tried tiny intervals. Half an island. An ocean. A few days. A few weeks. It built steadily, until it dropped off entirely.
The answer was three years and thousands of miles before she forgot him (sans those few relapses which she chalks up to nostalgia).
But she forgot something crucial in all her experimenting. It didn't matter how long or how far you separated those magnets. The minute you brought them back into the same vicinity, the attraction would pick up right where it left off.
She looks back at him, and feels her heart clench and her stomach turn.
Yes, they are definitely like magnets.
---
When her feet finally touch the sand, she makes no effort to embrace him. Sure, she gives him that half smile, and he grins and mutters something along the lines of "hey Freckles," but there is no bone crushing hug or lips against her brow.
They stay close though as the entire group trudges back to the Barracks. His hand brushes against hers, and he asks her questions that aren't important, but linger long enough that his voice will echo in her ears and draw her closer.
She knows that at any moment she could reach over and grab his hand in hers, and he'd squeeze back. She could whisper things like "I missed you" or "It's good to see you" and he'd smile and say "Same here". She could kiss him and he'd definitely kiss back. Because long ago, he accepted the fact that he was drawn to her. He accepted that she would come and go, and that when she offered something it was just best to take it.
But to her, giving isn't that easy, and avoidance is nothing new. All part of the plan in fact. There are many reasons to explain why she denies herself him.
Maybe it's the fear that she'll give too much, and have nothing to fall back on. Maybe it's something masochistic, knowing that the longer she holds out, the more satisfying the reward will be when she finally caves. Maybe when she does cave, she'll be able to convince herself that she tried to resist, or that it was all just a lapse in judgment.
Truth is she doesn't have a clue which of those it actually is. She's still figuring herself out.
His hand slides along her lower back as he leads her to the vacant house she’ll be sharing with Sun.
"When you need you me, I'm right next door," he says, and he leaves her to unpack her things.
She notes it's "when" not "if" and that it's a smirk, not a smile, and she thinks maybe he knows her well enough for the both of them.
---
She only lasts until the night. After she tucks Aaron into bed and whispers to him one of the stories she's memorized, she wanders out into the living room. Sun is reading by the fire; Ji Yeon nestled into the bed next to Aaron's an hour prior.
"Would you mind watching Aaron for the night?"
"Sawyer?" Sun ventures, but she doesn't look up from her book. The amused tone to her voice says more than any look would.
"I just need to talk to him," she reasons, but Sun just waves her hand.
"Go ahead."
When she knocks on his door, it's so soft that she's sure he won't hear it. She doesn't even wait a whole minute before she takes a step back.
He catches her mid step, the door swinging open to reveal him still dressed, a book in his hands and his glasses perched on his nose. He smiles, and this feels nostalgic. Because she's been here before, back when she had ulterior motives, and maybe she still has those tucked away in the back of her head, but right now, the only reason she came is because she wanted to see him.
He lets her inside, pours her a glass of wine seeing as he's already sipping on his own. They make small talk. He asks about Aaron. She asks about some of the island folks she hadn't gotten the chance to chat with, like Bernard and Rose.
During the pauses, she glances around his house, wondering if he's sharing it with anyone, listening closely for any sign of other occupants.
Obviously she's terrible at being subtle.
"Juliet was my roomie," he says following her eyes around the house, "But then people started assuming things, and she high tailed it out of here as fast as she could."
"So you weren't..." she trails off, because it's hypocritical. And instead she sips her wine.
"No," Sawyer says, "Not for lack of trying, though."
Kate frowns.
"Don't look at me like that, Freckles. It was one year of abstinence and hell, I ain't no saint."
"I lasted two," she replies. He studies her carefully before he opens his mouth.
"The doc?"
"Yeah..." she sighs, and guzzles her drink.
"Took you long enough." And for his part, he doesn't seem upset to hear it. He just looks tired and worn out. She feels a tinge of guilt, knowing that she's the one who put that look there.
She rolls her eyes, "I didn't come here to talk about Jack."
"Well that's a first," he finishes his drink, and sets the glass in the sink, "What did you come here to talk about?"
He looks back up at her, and...
There is a moment where something clicks, shifts into place and the air just crackles between them. Exactly five seconds. She knows this because Jack taught her fear could be repressed if you count to five (and yes only she would think of Jack at a time like this, but really Sawyer's the one who brought him up). She counted to five under her breath, her hands shaking as she put the glass down on the kitchen island. When she whispered five, his eyes were still burning into hers.
And the fear was gone, in its place; anticipation.
When he blinks, she pounces on him. What she can't say with words right now, she can always say with this. Lips aligning and hands roaming.
It's pent up emotion. Fear and desire and anger and longing all culminating into one night, maybe the best night of her life. She quite fickle when it comes to choosing, the type of girl who could spend hours with eyes glued to the menu deciding what she wanted order. But as it goes, she can't remember anything better than the heat they shared.
It's a blur of motion, and as a memory, it will stay this way. She won't remember the little details, how many times they came together that night, the words he whispered into her ear, or if he smiled during the after glow. They are a part of her, memorable, but not reachable. Not up for review or pondering. Locked safe away in the corners of her mind and heart, along with her last visit with Sam and Aaron's third birthday.
It's best this way.
---
What she will remember is what happens come morning when she wakes up, and for the first time, her eyes aren't scanning for an exit. She remembers a grandstanding moment of clarity that comes as his eyes blink back into consciousness, where he looks to his left and she follows his gaze.
She straddles his hips, pulls his face into her hands. And he looks back up at her. He opens his mouth to say something, probably something sarcastic or goofy, but she cuts him off.
"I think..." she trails off, biting her lip. What she thinks is absurd, and definitely not something she would ever say out loud. But then, it's been three years, and she owes him this much. She needs his eyes to stop darting to the door, waiting for her to flee, because she doesn't feel like leaving, but if he looks one too many times, she might just take him up on that silent offer.
"I think I'm always gonna love you."
"You think?"
"Yeah..." She wonders if that disappoints him. In all honesty, she's proud of herself for even realizing it. She can promise a man to be his always and forever, and she can learn to love him in the moment, but she's never considered a combination of both until right now, in this very moment.
"Well," Sawyer sighs, hands inching up her waist, "That's more than I expected."
She laughs as she leans down to kiss him.
And really, that attitude is the reason why they'll always find their way back to each other.
Like magnets.
Anyways....moving on:
Title: Our Limit for Great Expectations
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Kate, Sawyer/Kate
Word Count: 1,656
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She thinks maybe he knows her well enough for the both of them. Happy, somewhat angst-free reunion fic...as close as I could get to angst free.
A/N: Written for quiet_rebel for the luau at lostsquee who wanted happy endings and had a preference for Skate.
They're like magnets.
She decides this, the morning they land on the island. The morning her eyes meet his for the first time in three years. There are thirty people on the beach waiting for their arrival. Most of them are gathered right on the shoreline, waving their arms in the air and shouting for joy.
Sawyer, well, he's towards the back, half hidden behind Juliet and Charlotte. Still, when Kate looks up, he's the one she sees. His eyes, bright and blue as ever, are staring into hers. She'd swear at that moment there was silence.
It's effortless, how her eyes are drawn to his in the midst of all this chaos. She looks down, has to, because Aaron is pulling on her pant leg, but she can still feel his gaze lingering on her.
She remembers being six, sitting at the kitchen table and rolling magnets between her fingers out of sheer boredom. The pull from the two sent imaginary currents through her fingers, which she'd giggle at. She remembers testing how much distance could put between them before that pull faded away into nothing.
This was being six all over again. How much distance could she put between them before she stopped thinking of him? She had tried tiny intervals. Half an island. An ocean. A few days. A few weeks. It built steadily, until it dropped off entirely.
The answer was three years and thousands of miles before she forgot him (sans those few relapses which she chalks up to nostalgia).
But she forgot something crucial in all her experimenting. It didn't matter how long or how far you separated those magnets. The minute you brought them back into the same vicinity, the attraction would pick up right where it left off.
She looks back at him, and feels her heart clench and her stomach turn.
Yes, they are definitely like magnets.
---
When her feet finally touch the sand, she makes no effort to embrace him. Sure, she gives him that half smile, and he grins and mutters something along the lines of "hey Freckles," but there is no bone crushing hug or lips against her brow.
They stay close though as the entire group trudges back to the Barracks. His hand brushes against hers, and he asks her questions that aren't important, but linger long enough that his voice will echo in her ears and draw her closer.
She knows that at any moment she could reach over and grab his hand in hers, and he'd squeeze back. She could whisper things like "I missed you" or "It's good to see you" and he'd smile and say "Same here". She could kiss him and he'd definitely kiss back. Because long ago, he accepted the fact that he was drawn to her. He accepted that she would come and go, and that when she offered something it was just best to take it.
But to her, giving isn't that easy, and avoidance is nothing new. All part of the plan in fact. There are many reasons to explain why she denies herself him.
Maybe it's the fear that she'll give too much, and have nothing to fall back on. Maybe it's something masochistic, knowing that the longer she holds out, the more satisfying the reward will be when she finally caves. Maybe when she does cave, she'll be able to convince herself that she tried to resist, or that it was all just a lapse in judgment.
Truth is she doesn't have a clue which of those it actually is. She's still figuring herself out.
His hand slides along her lower back as he leads her to the vacant house she’ll be sharing with Sun.
"When you need you me, I'm right next door," he says, and he leaves her to unpack her things.
She notes it's "when" not "if" and that it's a smirk, not a smile, and she thinks maybe he knows her well enough for the both of them.
---
She only lasts until the night. After she tucks Aaron into bed and whispers to him one of the stories she's memorized, she wanders out into the living room. Sun is reading by the fire; Ji Yeon nestled into the bed next to Aaron's an hour prior.
"Would you mind watching Aaron for the night?"
"Sawyer?" Sun ventures, but she doesn't look up from her book. The amused tone to her voice says more than any look would.
"I just need to talk to him," she reasons, but Sun just waves her hand.
"Go ahead."
When she knocks on his door, it's so soft that she's sure he won't hear it. She doesn't even wait a whole minute before she takes a step back.
He catches her mid step, the door swinging open to reveal him still dressed, a book in his hands and his glasses perched on his nose. He smiles, and this feels nostalgic. Because she's been here before, back when she had ulterior motives, and maybe she still has those tucked away in the back of her head, but right now, the only reason she came is because she wanted to see him.
He lets her inside, pours her a glass of wine seeing as he's already sipping on his own. They make small talk. He asks about Aaron. She asks about some of the island folks she hadn't gotten the chance to chat with, like Bernard and Rose.
During the pauses, she glances around his house, wondering if he's sharing it with anyone, listening closely for any sign of other occupants.
Obviously she's terrible at being subtle.
"Juliet was my roomie," he says following her eyes around the house, "But then people started assuming things, and she high tailed it out of here as fast as she could."
"So you weren't..." she trails off, because it's hypocritical. And instead she sips her wine.
"No," Sawyer says, "Not for lack of trying, though."
Kate frowns.
"Don't look at me like that, Freckles. It was one year of abstinence and hell, I ain't no saint."
"I lasted two," she replies. He studies her carefully before he opens his mouth.
"The doc?"
"Yeah..." she sighs, and guzzles her drink.
"Took you long enough." And for his part, he doesn't seem upset to hear it. He just looks tired and worn out. She feels a tinge of guilt, knowing that she's the one who put that look there.
She rolls her eyes, "I didn't come here to talk about Jack."
"Well that's a first," he finishes his drink, and sets the glass in the sink, "What did you come here to talk about?"
He looks back up at her, and...
There is a moment where something clicks, shifts into place and the air just crackles between them. Exactly five seconds. She knows this because Jack taught her fear could be repressed if you count to five (and yes only she would think of Jack at a time like this, but really Sawyer's the one who brought him up). She counted to five under her breath, her hands shaking as she put the glass down on the kitchen island. When she whispered five, his eyes were still burning into hers.
And the fear was gone, in its place; anticipation.
When he blinks, she pounces on him. What she can't say with words right now, she can always say with this. Lips aligning and hands roaming.
It's pent up emotion. Fear and desire and anger and longing all culminating into one night, maybe the best night of her life. She quite fickle when it comes to choosing, the type of girl who could spend hours with eyes glued to the menu deciding what she wanted order. But as it goes, she can't remember anything better than the heat they shared.
It's a blur of motion, and as a memory, it will stay this way. She won't remember the little details, how many times they came together that night, the words he whispered into her ear, or if he smiled during the after glow. They are a part of her, memorable, but not reachable. Not up for review or pondering. Locked safe away in the corners of her mind and heart, along with her last visit with Sam and Aaron's third birthday.
It's best this way.
---
What she will remember is what happens come morning when she wakes up, and for the first time, her eyes aren't scanning for an exit. She remembers a grandstanding moment of clarity that comes as his eyes blink back into consciousness, where he looks to his left and she follows his gaze.
She straddles his hips, pulls his face into her hands. And he looks back up at her. He opens his mouth to say something, probably something sarcastic or goofy, but she cuts him off.
"I think..." she trails off, biting her lip. What she thinks is absurd, and definitely not something she would ever say out loud. But then, it's been three years, and she owes him this much. She needs his eyes to stop darting to the door, waiting for her to flee, because she doesn't feel like leaving, but if he looks one too many times, she might just take him up on that silent offer.
"I think I'm always gonna love you."
"You think?"
"Yeah..." She wonders if that disappoints him. In all honesty, she's proud of herself for even realizing it. She can promise a man to be his always and forever, and she can learn to love him in the moment, but she's never considered a combination of both until right now, in this very moment.
"Well," Sawyer sighs, hands inching up her waist, "That's more than I expected."
She laughs as she leans down to kiss him.
And really, that attitude is the reason why they'll always find their way back to each other.
Like magnets.