yer not cookin!
ok, so last night in a fit of drinkin.. I decided I was gonna cook a thing. I wanted to use up my fake hippie morningstar vegan twat crumbles.. cus I was feeling all loving towards the animals.. NOT THAT KIND OF LOVING YOU SICK MONSTER!
So.. oh look who has some pasta to use up too. ok.. think.. think goddamn it!
fake Lasagna!
so here is how it goes.
get yer pot and boil yer fucking pasta. I don't care what you use. You can use actual lasagna pasta.. but I didn't have any ok? *I* had penne. Cute little penne pasta. So boil you bastards. Put sea salt in yer water ok? cus this does something.. I don't remember what.. but I know it's important.
cook yer meats. Like I said, I had some Morning Star witchy poo hippie vegan fake meats. Am I vegan? no. Am I a vegimatarian? no. I just like this stuff. Them goddamn witches that make this shit put crack in it. It's prolly fucking Soylent fucking Green. Anyhoo. I blame my oldest Sister. She was the crack dealer that got me hooked.
add yer sauce. PASTA SAUCE! you can use which ever you like. I don't care. Really.. I don't
stir this shit around and put yer skillet on low so it's just simmering.
QUICK!! YER PASTA IS BOILING OVER! at least mine was - so imna say yer's prolly is too.
is it done cooking? prolly. Drain it and then run some cold water over it.
now on to the assembly!
take yer glass dish. I know you have one. Most everyone does. If you don't you need to go get one right now... because I don't have a metal pan and if I didn't use one.. then you can't either. got it?
put a layer of the pasta down into yer dish.
now add cheese. Here is where we get into the crack whore of it all. I didn't have no fancy ricotta or them other cheeses you would use. I had fucking goddamn STRING CHEESE. so there. NO I did not string it.. I just tore off big strings.. bulky strings... not fingerling weight. ok?
so add a layer of cheese. you can use as much as you want.. but remember you need it for the rest of the dish! so don't get all like IMNA USE IT ALL!
now a layer of the meat sauce that is made of fake...
add some more cheese on top of that..
add some more pasta
more cheese
the rest of the fucking I LOVE ANIMALS SO IMNA USE THIS WITCHY FAKE SOYLENT GREEN MEATS..
and now.. ALL OF THE GODDAMN FUCKING CHEESE YOU HAVE IN THE HAUS. I don't care.. you use it all. I did and now I'm prolly not gonna shit right for days.. (TMI! I know.. but you deal with it.. look me and cheese we are close ok?)
OH! I just thought of something! I must not love the animals THAT much if I am using cheese. So um, sorry animals.
anyhoo you topped yer piece with a load of shredded cheese right? now put into the stove @400.
don't you yell @ me because I didn't tell you before hand to to set the stove @400. I figgered you'd read this first before starting the dish ok?
so 400.
I cooked mine for 30 min - but really.. all you are doing is getting the cheese ALL KINDS OF GOOEY MELTY so you could do 20 min.
and there you go.
serve it up!
So.. oh look who has some pasta to use up too. ok.. think.. think goddamn it!
fake Lasagna!
so here is how it goes.
get yer pot and boil yer fucking pasta. I don't care what you use. You can use actual lasagna pasta.. but I didn't have any ok? *I* had penne. Cute little penne pasta. So boil you bastards. Put sea salt in yer water ok? cus this does something.. I don't remember what.. but I know it's important.
cook yer meats. Like I said, I had some Morning Star witchy poo hippie vegan fake meats. Am I vegan? no. Am I a vegimatarian? no. I just like this stuff. Them goddamn witches that make this shit put crack in it. It's prolly fucking Soylent fucking Green. Anyhoo. I blame my oldest Sister. She was the crack dealer that got me hooked.
add yer sauce. PASTA SAUCE! you can use which ever you like. I don't care. Really.. I don't
stir this shit around and put yer skillet on low so it's just simmering.
QUICK!! YER PASTA IS BOILING OVER! at least mine was - so imna say yer's prolly is too.
is it done cooking? prolly. Drain it and then run some cold water over it.
now on to the assembly!
take yer glass dish. I know you have one. Most everyone does. If you don't you need to go get one right now... because I don't have a metal pan and if I didn't use one.. then you can't either. got it?
put a layer of the pasta down into yer dish.
now add cheese. Here is where we get into the crack whore of it all. I didn't have no fancy ricotta or them other cheeses you would use. I had fucking goddamn STRING CHEESE. so there. NO I did not string it.. I just tore off big strings.. bulky strings... not fingerling weight. ok?
so add a layer of cheese. you can use as much as you want.. but remember you need it for the rest of the dish! so don't get all like IMNA USE IT ALL!
now a layer of the meat sauce that is made of fake...
add some more cheese on top of that..
add some more pasta
more cheese
the rest of the fucking I LOVE ANIMALS SO IMNA USE THIS WITCHY FAKE SOYLENT GREEN MEATS..
and now.. ALL OF THE GODDAMN FUCKING CHEESE YOU HAVE IN THE HAUS. I don't care.. you use it all. I did and now I'm prolly not gonna shit right for days.. (TMI! I know.. but you deal with it.. look me and cheese we are close ok?)
OH! I just thought of something! I must not love the animals THAT much if I am using cheese. So um, sorry animals.
anyhoo you topped yer piece with a load of shredded cheese right? now put into the stove @400.
don't you yell @ me because I didn't tell you before hand to to set the stove @400. I figgered you'd read this first before starting the dish ok?
so 400.
I cooked mine for 30 min - but really.. all you are doing is getting the cheese ALL KINDS OF GOOEY MELTY so you could do 20 min.
and there you go.
serve it up!