What's with the rain?!
Yep, it's raining again.
You know what they say about facing your fears? That's bull.
I thought I was over everything that's happened. But seeing him happy with his girl and seeing him kiss her (!) the way he kissed me...I was hurt. I felt envious. It should be me he's holding hands with, it should be me he's hugging, kissing...it should be me he's in love with.
Why do I feel this way? I can't even look him in the eye. I know he's trying to be friends with me but I can't. It just hurts so much. Just knowing that he still knows everything about me hurts me. I never should've trusted him that much. I never should've loved him that much. I never should've opened my heart to him. But I did and I don't regret that. Because I know hurting means being alive. And if that's how it's gonna be, then let it be. One thing I regret though is that I let him go. I gave up. I should've given him the chance to learn to love me. But would things be different then? What if after everything he still left me? That I can't bear.
Can't something ease the pain? Can't anything change the way I feel? I wanna take care of him just like before. I wanna hug him and tell him everything's gonna be alright. I just want him with me. But it's not gonna happen anytime soon. It's not like he's gonna realize one day that it's me he truly loves. That'd be impossible. I know he's happy with her now. And I guess I just have to be happy...with or without him.
What's happening to me? I thought I was over him...or was I wrong? How do you know if you're finally over someone? How do you stop being affected by that someone?
I know I appear to be this strong (?), independent person. Sabi nga nila, superwoman daw ako. But I'm not. I hurt, too. I bleed just like any other girl. And yes, I also want someone beside me. I need somebody to love me. But why is love too hard to find?
Kung totoo nga ang sinasabi nila na malas ka sa lovelife kung swerte ka sa sugal, fotah...pwede bang maging malas na ako sa sugal? Talunin niyo naman kasi ako! Kahit maghirap ako basta masaya naman sa lovelife. Mas ok na un.
Hahah! Talk about desperate. :-/
You know what they say about facing your fears? That's bull.
I thought I was over everything that's happened. But seeing him happy with his girl and seeing him kiss her (!) the way he kissed me...I was hurt. I felt envious. It should be me he's holding hands with, it should be me he's hugging, kissing...it should be me he's in love with.
Why do I feel this way? I can't even look him in the eye. I know he's trying to be friends with me but I can't. It just hurts so much. Just knowing that he still knows everything about me hurts me. I never should've trusted him that much. I never should've loved him that much. I never should've opened my heart to him. But I did and I don't regret that. Because I know hurting means being alive. And if that's how it's gonna be, then let it be. One thing I regret though is that I let him go. I gave up. I should've given him the chance to learn to love me. But would things be different then? What if after everything he still left me? That I can't bear.
Can't something ease the pain? Can't anything change the way I feel? I wanna take care of him just like before. I wanna hug him and tell him everything's gonna be alright. I just want him with me. But it's not gonna happen anytime soon. It's not like he's gonna realize one day that it's me he truly loves. That'd be impossible. I know he's happy with her now. And I guess I just have to be happy...with or without him.
What's happening to me? I thought I was over him...or was I wrong? How do you know if you're finally over someone? How do you stop being affected by that someone?
I know I appear to be this strong (?), independent person. Sabi nga nila, superwoman daw ako. But I'm not. I hurt, too. I bleed just like any other girl. And yes, I also want someone beside me. I need somebody to love me. But why is love too hard to find?
Kung totoo nga ang sinasabi nila na malas ka sa lovelife kung swerte ka sa sugal, fotah...pwede bang maging malas na ako sa sugal? Talunin niyo naman kasi ako! Kahit maghirap ako basta masaya naman sa lovelife. Mas ok na un.
Hahah! Talk about desperate. :-/