And after a long walk
Okay,
So I took a nice walk here in north carolina. It was a warm night out and very soothing I guess you could say the word was. I have been thinking alot about my future and what I want to do. I have been thinking about things and wondering if what I am doing is really what I want to do or is it because I just want to disappear. I have not really decided on that.
I saw this movie called the hours and it made me think alot about what I do and how I react to different things. It has made me wonder if everything I have done to this day was just to be able to make others happy and not myself.
But on the other hand I wonder about if I did not make others happy would I be happy in the end?
That is one hell of a question if you ask me.
Right now I am sitting in the kitchen, jake reading to my right and roomie to my left listening to music on her laptop and just kinda messing with her hair.
I like the music she is playing...its a perfect style to what I am feeling now.
It is weird I guess that I am feeling to weird and out of it. Not sad not even close but just pondering about life in general.
I am excited for this summer. To bike across the country is something i had not dreamed of before and its amazing. I am going to see a lot of happy faces and it will be amazing!...when the trip is over I will bike down to san diego from santa barbara. so it will be nice to see everyone at home again.
So what is life? Why is it the way it is in your life?
I haven't the slightest idea.
I am going to miss heather this fall.
When am I returning to the states?
Who knows if i will :-p
I never knew how much change actually affects my life. even though i do not like it I still force myself to go through these changes.
Why you ask?
because if I do not go through change I think my life would become stagnant and very predicatable. I never wanted that to be me.
Life is strange in my eyes. It sometimes feels like I am just watching it go and going through the motions of life and how it should be. But when I stop to think everything seems to be a little off or just not the way it is supposed to be.
Why is it that when I feel comfortable and happy it changes?
who knows maybe its to keep myself on my feet I guess? Keep things moving. I dont know.
thats all for now.
So I took a nice walk here in north carolina. It was a warm night out and very soothing I guess you could say the word was. I have been thinking alot about my future and what I want to do. I have been thinking about things and wondering if what I am doing is really what I want to do or is it because I just want to disappear. I have not really decided on that.
I saw this movie called the hours and it made me think alot about what I do and how I react to different things. It has made me wonder if everything I have done to this day was just to be able to make others happy and not myself.
But on the other hand I wonder about if I did not make others happy would I be happy in the end?
That is one hell of a question if you ask me.
Right now I am sitting in the kitchen, jake reading to my right and roomie to my left listening to music on her laptop and just kinda messing with her hair.
I like the music she is playing...its a perfect style to what I am feeling now.
It is weird I guess that I am feeling to weird and out of it. Not sad not even close but just pondering about life in general.
I am excited for this summer. To bike across the country is something i had not dreamed of before and its amazing. I am going to see a lot of happy faces and it will be amazing!...when the trip is over I will bike down to san diego from santa barbara. so it will be nice to see everyone at home again.
So what is life? Why is it the way it is in your life?
I haven't the slightest idea.
I am going to miss heather this fall.
When am I returning to the states?
Who knows if i will :-p
I never knew how much change actually affects my life. even though i do not like it I still force myself to go through these changes.
Why you ask?
because if I do not go through change I think my life would become stagnant and very predicatable. I never wanted that to be me.
Life is strange in my eyes. It sometimes feels like I am just watching it go and going through the motions of life and how it should be. But when I stop to think everything seems to be a little off or just not the way it is supposed to be.
Why is it that when I feel comfortable and happy it changes?
who knows maybe its to keep myself on my feet I guess? Keep things moving. I dont know.
thats all for now.