(no subject)
So I'm going absolutley insane and I haven't been this stressed out for a long time.
I have four exams starting tomorrow
Math at 9 and World Religions at 12:30.
On Wednesday I have my dreaded Biology exam
And Thursday my Anthro exam.
I haven't even looked at my Math (which I need to do, seeing as I'm going into the exam with a 49. Thank god for my teacher and his, "if you get a 50 on the exam, no matter what you pass the class" thing) and Religions notes. Nor do I have the patience. (sp?)
Biology has occupied seven and a half hours of my day today, and that was just making notes about the concept questions on my exam review. I haven't even looked at the some 200 terms on the page, or the diagrams I'm expected to know. I haven't had time at all. Tomorrow exams are taking up my time until 2, then I have to work at four. Therefore, I'm fucked for my Wednesday exam, having like no time to study. I'm going to school tomorrow at 7:30, studying for math until 9, and inbetween exams I'll look over my Religions notes. I left off studying until the last minute, but from past experience, that's really the only thing that works for me. If I start studying 2 weeks before, I get stressed, because I have so many other assignments due, I just don't have time. Fuck.
So as of 2:30 on Thursday I'm a senior, hopefully, if I'm able to pass Math and Biology. If I don't pass them both I'll be crushed and next year will be shit.
I'm going crazy, because If I don't pass either, I can't take grade 12 bio, or grade 12 math (yea both university classes. I'm doing absolutley shitty in both of the classes now, but I need them, and next year I'm seriously going to work hard more than anything.) I won't be able to get into University, screwing up my hopes for the future.
I'm not going directly to University after I finish High School. From what my Cousin has said about University, and after watching my Sister drop out and such, I'm scared I wouldn't be ready/mature enough to take on what University offers. So I'm coming back for a semester, going to do Co-op, and then working full-time for the next semester, and keeping a part-time job a few days a week. I'm freaking out, and I haven't even finished grade eleven. All of this is crazy overwhelming, and it's the only thing I can think about. So from after my last exam on Thursday, until my final reports on Tuesday I believe, I'll be stressing times 20. Because if theres one failing mark on my report card, I don't even know what I'm going to do. But that's the ONLY thing on my mind right now. If I study any more tonight, I'll seriously kill myself. Everything in my notes has turned to like jibberish, and its ridiculous. Shoot me now.
Giant Tiger. The place I once loved more than everything ever. I dread it more than everything ever now. I come home crying almost everynight after a shift, and on multiple occasions I've gone upstairs after a situation and cried in a washroom stall. The people, customers and everything togehter is getting to me. I can't handle it. I want to look for another job, I'm scared that when/if I get another one, it will be equally shitty, or worse. I'm paid well here, and I have a couple friends that I wouldn't want to leave. It's a secure job I KNOW I won't get fired from, so I don't know. On top of all of this school shit, Giant Tiger isn't helping.
As of September, I'm switching my availability to 2 times a week and one during the weekend. Because I NEED study time.
Yea. So there's my extreme complaint. I need it all to be over. Please, next Tuesday, come quick, and bring me 4 passing grades.
I have four exams starting tomorrow
Math at 9 and World Religions at 12:30.
On Wednesday I have my dreaded Biology exam
And Thursday my Anthro exam.
I haven't even looked at my Math (which I need to do, seeing as I'm going into the exam with a 49. Thank god for my teacher and his, "if you get a 50 on the exam, no matter what you pass the class" thing) and Religions notes. Nor do I have the patience. (sp?)
Biology has occupied seven and a half hours of my day today, and that was just making notes about the concept questions on my exam review. I haven't even looked at the some 200 terms on the page, or the diagrams I'm expected to know. I haven't had time at all. Tomorrow exams are taking up my time until 2, then I have to work at four. Therefore, I'm fucked for my Wednesday exam, having like no time to study. I'm going to school tomorrow at 7:30, studying for math until 9, and inbetween exams I'll look over my Religions notes. I left off studying until the last minute, but from past experience, that's really the only thing that works for me. If I start studying 2 weeks before, I get stressed, because I have so many other assignments due, I just don't have time. Fuck.
So as of 2:30 on Thursday I'm a senior, hopefully, if I'm able to pass Math and Biology. If I don't pass them both I'll be crushed and next year will be shit.
I'm going crazy, because If I don't pass either, I can't take grade 12 bio, or grade 12 math (yea both university classes. I'm doing absolutley shitty in both of the classes now, but I need them, and next year I'm seriously going to work hard more than anything.) I won't be able to get into University, screwing up my hopes for the future.
I'm not going directly to University after I finish High School. From what my Cousin has said about University, and after watching my Sister drop out and such, I'm scared I wouldn't be ready/mature enough to take on what University offers. So I'm coming back for a semester, going to do Co-op, and then working full-time for the next semester, and keeping a part-time job a few days a week. I'm freaking out, and I haven't even finished grade eleven. All of this is crazy overwhelming, and it's the only thing I can think about. So from after my last exam on Thursday, until my final reports on Tuesday I believe, I'll be stressing times 20. Because if theres one failing mark on my report card, I don't even know what I'm going to do. But that's the ONLY thing on my mind right now. If I study any more tonight, I'll seriously kill myself. Everything in my notes has turned to like jibberish, and its ridiculous. Shoot me now.
Giant Tiger. The place I once loved more than everything ever. I dread it more than everything ever now. I come home crying almost everynight after a shift, and on multiple occasions I've gone upstairs after a situation and cried in a washroom stall. The people, customers and everything togehter is getting to me. I can't handle it. I want to look for another job, I'm scared that when/if I get another one, it will be equally shitty, or worse. I'm paid well here, and I have a couple friends that I wouldn't want to leave. It's a secure job I KNOW I won't get fired from, so I don't know. On top of all of this school shit, Giant Tiger isn't helping.
As of September, I'm switching my availability to 2 times a week and one during the weekend. Because I NEED study time.
Yea. So there's my extreme complaint. I need it all to be over. Please, next Tuesday, come quick, and bring me 4 passing grades.