(no subject)
I really hate this idea here... If you want to know my feelings, why don't you ask me straight out? Most of the time, it's you guys who tell me when something is wrong with me. Why should I have to pour all of my feelings into an idiotic public journal?
//Firewall to Spike//
He saved me. That damn peroxide-soaked, destiny stealing jerk saved me. I think I'd be better off in eternal hallucination land than owning my life to him!
It all felt so real, the hallucinations. I could feel my body disintergrate as Wesley staked me. I heard Buffy's voice while she was in bed with Spike-- In MY bed with Spike. I heard her speak words to him that she had spoken to me.
I could feel pain as Fred cut into my chest, pulling out my organs. I saw my heart... My dried up walnut of a heart. I sounded like the ocean.
//End Firewall to Spike//
//Firewall to Everyone//
I know what the ocean sounds like. It sounds like nothing. You get to know that after spending three months underwater.
Where was I during those months, now that Wolfram and Hart have erased his memories for the others. I wish Lilah had given me a file on it. I keep on nearly slipping, wanting to yell at Wes for stealing him, or going to see him.
I know it was for the best, but I still...
//End Firewall to Everyone//
Reminders to Self:
(1) Have meeting with the Fgrftft Demons
(2) Ask Wesley or Gunn how to say "Fgrftft"
//Firewall to Spike//
He saved me. That damn peroxide-soaked, destiny stealing jerk saved me. I think I'd be better off in eternal hallucination land than owning my life to him!
It all felt so real, the hallucinations. I could feel my body disintergrate as Wesley staked me. I heard Buffy's voice while she was in bed with Spike-- In MY bed with Spike. I heard her speak words to him that she had spoken to me.
I could feel pain as Fred cut into my chest, pulling out my organs. I saw my heart... My dried up walnut of a heart. I sounded like the ocean.
//End Firewall to Spike//
//Firewall to Everyone//
I know what the ocean sounds like. It sounds like nothing. You get to know that after spending three months underwater.
Where was I during those months, now that Wolfram and Hart have erased his memories for the others. I wish Lilah had given me a file on it. I keep on nearly slipping, wanting to yell at Wes for stealing him, or going to see him.
I know it was for the best, but I still...
//End Firewall to Everyone//
Reminders to Self:
(1) Have meeting with the Fgrftft Demons
(2) Ask Wesley or Gunn how to say "Fgrftft"