I am a big grumpy pants.
I am not sure why but I am lately. I thought it was from my period but it is gone and the grumpiness did not go with it. I don't like being around people, I don't want to go to work, and I get so angry so easily. I guess it sounds like depression or some kind of mood disorder. I should go to the doctor but I have spent so much money being sick lately, it isn't funny. Jason and myself have been sick lately, I assume from the snot filled children I teach. They are always sick the poor things. We each missed about 3 days of work, spent over $100 each on copayments and medications, and we are still gonna owe more because of our deductibles. Good grief. The only saving grace is our tax refund which I noticed is in the bank now. Thank God. However, we have property taxes that need to be paid....
Money is evil, I do believe this....
My Mom is crazy, did I mention this ever before. She drug me to the emergency room last night. She has been having some female problems which I know are not fun but it is one more thing to get her attention and stress me out. At about 1 am she comes in and mumbles something about Tony (her psychologist and her latest person she weirdly admires) wanting her to go to the ER, next thing I know, I have the phone and he is saying, take her or I will call 911 to get her. So of course I take her instead of telling him go for it, they will laugh at you. All the ER doctor says is, yeah you are anemic and your white count is low but it isn't low enough for me to do anything, call you doctor tomorrow and have some pain killers. She is so pathetic it isn't funny. We never tell her how stupid she can be, how bad she makes us feel, how she needs to grow up and act like an adult, or anything else that bothers us because we know she will be all pathetic and depressed "nobody loves me", swallow some pills, cut herself all up, and do a bunch of other stupid things. NOTE: When I say us, I mostly mean me but she does it to her doctors too. She did have a hard life and bad things have happened but instead of fighting back and making a good life in spite, she is a drain on society, sleeps all day, drives me nuts, goes to the doctor and therapist everyday almost, manipulates others, and is just pathetic! I love her and she has potential, she raised my sister and I pretty good and graduated college with good grades. She is smart and could do so much more with her life if she tried.
I have also came to the conclusion about myself, that I am spineless. I let al kinds of people walk all over me. At home, at work, and just all around. I never want to make a fuss, get anyone upset, and I thus never assert myself. I need to learn how to be assertive.
Ok I am kinda starting to see where the grumpiness is coming from. I don't want sympathy, I just want things to be better.
I have to go clean, Jason promised to help but neither one of us did a darn thing all week. Jason's sister is coming over which I am not excited about, he hubby gets on my nerves. He looks a lot like Jason and they have similar characteristics but he is so gross. He farts, burps, and sneezes all over the place. I know he has allergies but damn cover that hose up.
We were going over to Gnell and Gary's house a lot for awhile there but I don't even want to go anywhere anymore. I am changing so much, it is kind of scary. I use to hate being stuck inside but now I hardly ever leave.
I also have a bridal shower to plan and I have lost interest in that. I am kind of jealous. I never got any of that stuff. I know my situation was different but it seems unfair. Few people actually got us wedding gifts and we never did anything special for any of it. Now I am suppose to plan and pay for a shower, plus buy her two presents all after paying her the money I owe her back. Short end of the stick it seems to me. ALthough she did pay the $10 for us to get married and she is a good friend for the most part. I do love her but I can't help but feel sad too.
School sucks, I hate my assistants and the whole place depresses me lately. I love my kids, even the rotten one but I still don't want to go everyday. I feel like I have no real authority and that people don't really respect me. I do like one person there, thank God for Mary. Hehehe God, Mary, get it? She is really the only one there I really like.
As far as me and Jason go, we are still very much in love but lately something is not right. I don't know why and what but I guess it is me.
Money is evil, I do believe this....
My Mom is crazy, did I mention this ever before. She drug me to the emergency room last night. She has been having some female problems which I know are not fun but it is one more thing to get her attention and stress me out. At about 1 am she comes in and mumbles something about Tony (her psychologist and her latest person she weirdly admires) wanting her to go to the ER, next thing I know, I have the phone and he is saying, take her or I will call 911 to get her. So of course I take her instead of telling him go for it, they will laugh at you. All the ER doctor says is, yeah you are anemic and your white count is low but it isn't low enough for me to do anything, call you doctor tomorrow and have some pain killers. She is so pathetic it isn't funny. We never tell her how stupid she can be, how bad she makes us feel, how she needs to grow up and act like an adult, or anything else that bothers us because we know she will be all pathetic and depressed "nobody loves me", swallow some pills, cut herself all up, and do a bunch of other stupid things. NOTE: When I say us, I mostly mean me but she does it to her doctors too. She did have a hard life and bad things have happened but instead of fighting back and making a good life in spite, she is a drain on society, sleeps all day, drives me nuts, goes to the doctor and therapist everyday almost, manipulates others, and is just pathetic! I love her and she has potential, she raised my sister and I pretty good and graduated college with good grades. She is smart and could do so much more with her life if she tried.
I have also came to the conclusion about myself, that I am spineless. I let al kinds of people walk all over me. At home, at work, and just all around. I never want to make a fuss, get anyone upset, and I thus never assert myself. I need to learn how to be assertive.
Ok I am kinda starting to see where the grumpiness is coming from. I don't want sympathy, I just want things to be better.
I have to go clean, Jason promised to help but neither one of us did a darn thing all week. Jason's sister is coming over which I am not excited about, he hubby gets on my nerves. He looks a lot like Jason and they have similar characteristics but he is so gross. He farts, burps, and sneezes all over the place. I know he has allergies but damn cover that hose up.
We were going over to Gnell and Gary's house a lot for awhile there but I don't even want to go anywhere anymore. I am changing so much, it is kind of scary. I use to hate being stuck inside but now I hardly ever leave.
I also have a bridal shower to plan and I have lost interest in that. I am kind of jealous. I never got any of that stuff. I know my situation was different but it seems unfair. Few people actually got us wedding gifts and we never did anything special for any of it. Now I am suppose to plan and pay for a shower, plus buy her two presents all after paying her the money I owe her back. Short end of the stick it seems to me. ALthough she did pay the $10 for us to get married and she is a good friend for the most part. I do love her but I can't help but feel sad too.
School sucks, I hate my assistants and the whole place depresses me lately. I love my kids, even the rotten one but I still don't want to go everyday. I feel like I have no real authority and that people don't really respect me. I do like one person there, thank God for Mary. Hehehe God, Mary, get it? She is really the only one there I really like.
As far as me and Jason go, we are still very much in love but lately something is not right. I don't know why and what but I guess it is me.