desired agency
I am faced with eggshell words - so fragile are they that at one mere touch of hope it shatters into a million pieces. Humpty Dumpty that can't be put back together again.
The tears slip past and I am faced with my loneliness over and over again. I feel eternally alienated from the rest of the world.
I am addicted to the jerks and workaholics and make friends of those who would be reasonable partners. But what are reasonable partners when they don't stir the blood -- when they don't inspire words to flow other than hollow optimistic words of random subjects?
I want to rely on myself but I don't want to at the same time.
I don't want to have just anyone.
I see the potential in people and disregard their ignoring me until it becomes convenient for them. I see the humour, kindness - little bits; disregard the hurtful things they sometimes say.
Pieces of myself - scattered everywhere. I can't pull myself together.
And the Kagero Diary helps little as well.
No one hears me. I am a voice lost in the swirling winds; these tears carried away and mistaken for the raindrops that begin to fall from the sky.
The tears slip past and I am faced with my loneliness over and over again. I feel eternally alienated from the rest of the world.
I am addicted to the jerks and workaholics and make friends of those who would be reasonable partners. But what are reasonable partners when they don't stir the blood -- when they don't inspire words to flow other than hollow optimistic words of random subjects?
I want to rely on myself but I don't want to at the same time.
I don't want to have just anyone.
I see the potential in people and disregard their ignoring me until it becomes convenient for them. I see the humour, kindness - little bits; disregard the hurtful things they sometimes say.
Pieces of myself - scattered everywhere. I can't pull myself together.
And the Kagero Diary helps little as well.
No one hears me. I am a voice lost in the swirling winds; these tears carried away and mistaken for the raindrops that begin to fall from the sky.