Gimme Space So I Can Breathe
So I haven't written in forever.
I start at HSB on Wednesday.
I'm 2 days away from being 18!!!!
I had a great and really fun party on Friday. My friends of 11 and 15 years were both there. We drank together. Me and Stef made out liek 5 times, me and lana made out too. It was a lot of fun and all the guys thought it was sooo hott lol. I also had my first shot ever that night. People kept doing beer bongs and stuff like that. Me and Joe were pissed at each other and we just yelled forever but then we made up and things were good again. So I thought.... The next day we just talked about the happenings of the night before and just laughed our asses off. Then Hepner called and I told him about the making out and everything. Joe got real distant and it was like he didn't wanna be here but he didn't have anywhere else to be so he stayed here kind of thing. Well, then I guess he texted Lana or something and told her taht he was mad at me for making out w/ the girls. I don't get these guys! Anyways, he said the reason why was cuz I was doing it for the guys who were there.. which is totally not even true!!! I didn't do it FOR anyone. I did it FOR FUN!!!!!
Tonight he's going to a concert w/ a couple of different people. They're partying it up b4 hand (or there I don't even know) they are drinking, have pot, adn cigars. And Joe said he was done smoking cigars! He did.. He told Lana that, he told me that, he told basically everyone at the party that it was his last night. HE even told me the next day cuz he was like yea it's so gross he was done blah blah blah.. but he has somemore.. I don't get him.. he says one thing then it changes. I guess I can deal w/ the cigars as long as that;s all it is... no cigs and deffinately no pot. He better not smoke pot or I'll be PISSED. That's the 1 thing that will make me snap.. it's prolly the one thing that will get me to leave him. I can't have a bf who smokes pot! I just can't! my last ex-bf smoked pot and that caused me to cut more than I used to. That's whyI can never have a bf who smokes pot.. ever. A lot of people don't know that that's the reason but it is.
I painted my nails red white and blue yesterday.
Lana's coming over today after dinner to watch Rent w/ me. she'll keep me company since Joe left me to go to that concert and party w/o me... I don't think joe's coming back here tonight either. meh w/e
Joe told me yesterday that he was thinkin bout going to the marines full time which means they'll send him over right away. I don't want that... I'll miss him too much.. he said he was also thinkin bout the reason why he wants to but he never told me the reason why. It kinda scares me. What if his reason is me?
When me and Joe were fighting he said taht he wouldn'tb e the 1 to break it off this time it would be me.. but I won't do it and he knows it. he also said " u kno what fuck you" so many times. he was so pissed at me and I don't even know why. He kept asking me why I was mad at him, and I told him why... I was mad at him cuz he was mad at me.. he called another fucking girl.. the girl that he broke up w/ me the 1st time for to come pick him and up take him back to her house. wtf is that?! im sorry we were still going out.. if u wanted to be w/ a nother girl u should've just said so I woulda let u leave my party.
I'm just scared taht the stuff he said when he was drunk is the stuff that he really feels inside. I don't remember a lot from that night.. but I remember every fuckin' word he said to me and I'm not gonna lie... it hurt... bad.
well, i guess that's all for now. till next time *mwah*
luv alwayz,
♥Jenna Lee♥
I start at HSB on Wednesday.
I'm 2 days away from being 18!!!!
I had a great and really fun party on Friday. My friends of 11 and 15 years were both there. We drank together. Me and Stef made out liek 5 times, me and lana made out too. It was a lot of fun and all the guys thought it was sooo hott lol. I also had my first shot ever that night. People kept doing beer bongs and stuff like that. Me and Joe were pissed at each other and we just yelled forever but then we made up and things were good again. So I thought.... The next day we just talked about the happenings of the night before and just laughed our asses off. Then Hepner called and I told him about the making out and everything. Joe got real distant and it was like he didn't wanna be here but he didn't have anywhere else to be so he stayed here kind of thing. Well, then I guess he texted Lana or something and told her taht he was mad at me for making out w/ the girls. I don't get these guys! Anyways, he said the reason why was cuz I was doing it for the guys who were there.. which is totally not even true!!! I didn't do it FOR anyone. I did it FOR FUN!!!!!
Tonight he's going to a concert w/ a couple of different people. They're partying it up b4 hand (or there I don't even know) they are drinking, have pot, adn cigars. And Joe said he was done smoking cigars! He did.. He told Lana that, he told me that, he told basically everyone at the party that it was his last night. HE even told me the next day cuz he was like yea it's so gross he was done blah blah blah.. but he has somemore.. I don't get him.. he says one thing then it changes. I guess I can deal w/ the cigars as long as that;s all it is... no cigs and deffinately no pot. He better not smoke pot or I'll be PISSED. That's the 1 thing that will make me snap.. it's prolly the one thing that will get me to leave him. I can't have a bf who smokes pot! I just can't! my last ex-bf smoked pot and that caused me to cut more than I used to. That's whyI can never have a bf who smokes pot.. ever. A lot of people don't know that that's the reason but it is.
I painted my nails red white and blue yesterday.
Lana's coming over today after dinner to watch Rent w/ me. she'll keep me company since Joe left me to go to that concert and party w/o me... I don't think joe's coming back here tonight either. meh w/e
Joe told me yesterday that he was thinkin bout going to the marines full time which means they'll send him over right away. I don't want that... I'll miss him too much.. he said he was also thinkin bout the reason why he wants to but he never told me the reason why. It kinda scares me. What if his reason is me?
When me and Joe were fighting he said taht he wouldn'tb e the 1 to break it off this time it would be me.. but I won't do it and he knows it. he also said " u kno what fuck you" so many times. he was so pissed at me and I don't even know why. He kept asking me why I was mad at him, and I told him why... I was mad at him cuz he was mad at me.. he called another fucking girl.. the girl that he broke up w/ me the 1st time for to come pick him and up take him back to her house. wtf is that?! im sorry we were still going out.. if u wanted to be w/ a nother girl u should've just said so I woulda let u leave my party.
I'm just scared taht the stuff he said when he was drunk is the stuff that he really feels inside. I don't remember a lot from that night.. but I remember every fuckin' word he said to me and I'm not gonna lie... it hurt... bad.
well, i guess that's all for now. till next time *mwah*
luv alwayz,
♥Jenna Lee♥