i dont really know where to start..

[angelbaby1705]

i miss myself so much..how i used to be, even if i was young i atleast knew myself. i feel like ive lost it now..like i have to rediscover something. but i dont remember actually discovering anything in the first place, it just kinda came to me. maybe thats one of the hard parts of getting older or something. i enjoy my maturity and growing, but

Comments

[bluangl]

I don't think it's necessarily for the better....I don't think that at all. I can't think of one good thing that was derived from this "change". I guess we will all eventually go in different directions, some of us won't move at all, some of us will be interior decorators (YOU), some of us will be successful, some of us won't be. It's all a matter of DOiNG it.

We all feel helpless, my dear. We feel helpless because we can't control everyone around us and we can't stunt eachothers growth. We can't recreate the past...which is why we talk about it so much, because it's all we have. I miss the way things used to be. I miss you. I miss everyone. But, I don't feel like "everyone" cares about anything other than the things that hold them down and consume them. And that tears me apart. I've spent many nights reminesing, remembering, and reliving memories in my head and I honestly can't think of a better time.

My impressions on how I feel? If you're refering to my last livejournal entry, those truths or "impressions" do not mean that I love you, or anyone else ANY LESS. It means that I worry because I witness the things that you (that's a general you not specifically you) do to yourself and don't realize...or maybe you do, you just dont want to accept it. It just scares me to see and hear these things, especially after being traumatized by its effects..I just don't think that I can see anyone else whom I love endure such self mutilation. It makes me irate and it makes me cry at the same time. But no one wants to change. No one wants to give up the things that are getting them no where.

I LOVE you Hayley. I always have. I always will. I worry about you excessively and I want the best for you. I love you and no matter my "impressions", judgment isn't passed and I'm still...as I always have been...here for you.

I love you BooBooKittyFuck.