I am going to be a hermit.
In the past two weeks I have driven to Bellingham, been on high alert best friend status, taken another BFF to the ER after an attempted mugging, received my inheritance from my Grandmother, bought a complicated new desk that needed to be put together, got a new plasma screen 42" TV, visited with my Uncle who just moved up from California to Washington, got sick from something I ate and worked 12 out of 14 days. Did I mention I hung out with Nora, Tamryn, Matt and Jenn on separate occasions; I went to the Blessing of the Cars on Sunday to see all my friends; we had a BBQ with Birdo, Jennie, Sheilah, Kim, DuLow (sp?), Melinda and the dogs last night; and I've talked to Dario almost every night.
I am burnt the fuck out.
I was on-call for the female BFF due to break-up, anxiety and depression. That lasted for over a week. I am happy to be there for her, but it was exhausting and I was experiencing sympathy pains that just sucked.
The male BFF was around the corner from my apartment when someone tried to take his wallet at knifepoint. He refused and took the guy down and kicked his ass, but not before he was sliced in the chest. I was up at 1am on a Monday/Tuesday, and I only get 2 hours sleep between karaoke and my day job on Sunday/Monday. Tuesday is normally my catch-up day. Needless to say, no catch up. Plus, he tried to self-medicate (i.e. drink) and was like dealing with a 12 year old with ADD. I had to yell him into submission and to stop him from treating the nurses, doctors and me like that. He ended up with 39 stitches. Fuck.
I drove to Bellingham two weekends ago to get my inheritance check from my Grandmother's estate. That's a double-edged sword, it is. I would rather have her alive, than have the money. But the money did help me to pay off all of my back debt that I have been paying on for the past 3-5 years. I had already significantly improved my credit, but now I am free and clear! This is great. But it's also brought up all these feelings about losing my Gramma again. :(
From the money I also bought myself ONE big present. I upgraded from a regular 27" tube television to a flat screen plasma 42" television. I have wanted one for years and they were far more reasonable than they have been. I did my research and got a great deal, too.
I also bought myself the desk I have been coveting for a year or so. I have had the photo of it on my fridge from the ad that long ago. I used my actual paycheck money to purchase that. It's beautiful. I am in love with it.
This weekend I am making my final purchase for the house (right now, anyway) which is a TV console that is more streamlined and shorter, to hold the new beast. Of all people, I will get so much enjoyment from that purchase...I can totally justify it. :)
I visited with my bigot Uncle two weekends ago, too. He has actually gotten SO much better. I have realized he feels inferior and thinks his racial jokes are funny. He doesn't understand that he's behaving like a bigot. He's not intentionally being an asshole. I think he's gonna grow up a lot around here, and he already seems happier. We actually went to one of the Indian run casinos in Ferndale and he placed bets on the horses for me and him and won me $50! :) I also won $30 on a Press Your Luck slot machine! I think I may learn to like the new Uncle Bill. :)
I have been trying to keep myself busy in order to forget about the 50 days between now and when Dee gets here. It's hard. But I certainly didn't intend to reach this stage of tired. I just want to go home, clean my mess of an apartment (and it really IS a mess since I am moving furniture and everything in and ON it) and watch movies while hanging with my animals.
Is that so much to ask? hahaha
xoxo
ange
I am burnt the fuck out.
I was on-call for the female BFF due to break-up, anxiety and depression. That lasted for over a week. I am happy to be there for her, but it was exhausting and I was experiencing sympathy pains that just sucked.
The male BFF was around the corner from my apartment when someone tried to take his wallet at knifepoint. He refused and took the guy down and kicked his ass, but not before he was sliced in the chest. I was up at 1am on a Monday/Tuesday, and I only get 2 hours sleep between karaoke and my day job on Sunday/Monday. Tuesday is normally my catch-up day. Needless to say, no catch up. Plus, he tried to self-medicate (i.e. drink) and was like dealing with a 12 year old with ADD. I had to yell him into submission and to stop him from treating the nurses, doctors and me like that. He ended up with 39 stitches. Fuck.
I drove to Bellingham two weekends ago to get my inheritance check from my Grandmother's estate. That's a double-edged sword, it is. I would rather have her alive, than have the money. But the money did help me to pay off all of my back debt that I have been paying on for the past 3-5 years. I had already significantly improved my credit, but now I am free and clear! This is great. But it's also brought up all these feelings about losing my Gramma again. :(
From the money I also bought myself ONE big present. I upgraded from a regular 27" tube television to a flat screen plasma 42" television. I have wanted one for years and they were far more reasonable than they have been. I did my research and got a great deal, too.
I also bought myself the desk I have been coveting for a year or so. I have had the photo of it on my fridge from the ad that long ago. I used my actual paycheck money to purchase that. It's beautiful. I am in love with it.
This weekend I am making my final purchase for the house (right now, anyway) which is a TV console that is more streamlined and shorter, to hold the new beast. Of all people, I will get so much enjoyment from that purchase...I can totally justify it. :)
I visited with my bigot Uncle two weekends ago, too. He has actually gotten SO much better. I have realized he feels inferior and thinks his racial jokes are funny. He doesn't understand that he's behaving like a bigot. He's not intentionally being an asshole. I think he's gonna grow up a lot around here, and he already seems happier. We actually went to one of the Indian run casinos in Ferndale and he placed bets on the horses for me and him and won me $50! :) I also won $30 on a Press Your Luck slot machine! I think I may learn to like the new Uncle Bill. :)
I have been trying to keep myself busy in order to forget about the 50 days between now and when Dee gets here. It's hard. But I certainly didn't intend to reach this stage of tired. I just want to go home, clean my mess of an apartment (and it really IS a mess since I am moving furniture and everything in and ON it) and watch movies while hanging with my animals.
Is that so much to ask? hahaha
xoxo
ange