is something wrong?
why am i so paranoid? i always feel like people are staring at me, or following me. god, it fucking freaks me out. yesterday i was stuck in traffic and i saw this guy pointing and talking to himself, i automatically hit the lock button on my door...then he started coming toward my car, and i was like 'lock, lock lock' hitting the button, then he walked past my car and started talking to someone in front of me. then last night i woke up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding, i had this horrible nightmare where i was in this huge house upstars and someone was breaking in and a person i was with fired out the window with a rifle, and they shot back and the french windows blew in and i was running and i jumped out the back window onto a landing and it was like a maze and the person had come in and was chasing me with the intent to kill me and i was running and i realized it was my boyfriend. when i woke up i was in a daze and too adrenalized to sleep so trying not to wake david, i stumbled into the open bathroom to pee, when i turned i saw, in the dark, a shape sitting there, on the toilet, completely still. for a nanosecond time froze and then i heard this bloodcurdling scream coming out of my mouth. i mean, i screamed like a little girl, like i havent screamed like that in a really really long time. of course by the time i finished screaming i had realized it was just david going to the bathroom, but i was freaking out and sobbing and crying and i had to sit down and just gasp for air for like 2 minutes. my therapist thinks that i have post traumatic stress things and they are going to try to do some hypnotic therapy or something. i hope it works.
