(no subject)
Rob is working on my car headlights. I am grateful, I was really worried about them and I had no clue how to even begin repairing them.
I have felt incredibly tired lately, but I am not sure if I am really tired or maybe just getting sick, or possibly even depressed.
I feel I might becoming addicted to a certain feeling, and the absence of the catalyst for this feeling may be causing a slight depression. Also, I am coming to the realization that my relationship with Rob reminds me entirely too much of the disaster my grandparents called their marriage. They cared for each other but could not stand being around one another. They did not speak unless they were fighting and rarely showed affection for one another. They had nothing in common, and both were miserable. Grandpa became a workaholic, grandma became manic and abusive, and I wonder if this is where I am headed. We talk about breaking up sometimes, but neither of us wants to be the one to do it. Neither of us wants to be without the other, but at the same time, we don't know how we should be together. I can't see any possibility of this getting better, but what if this is my only chance? What if this is as good as it gets.
I think I am just scared about the unknown. It would be nice to be in love, but I put that in the same category ad Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, a long time ago.
I have felt incredibly tired lately, but I am not sure if I am really tired or maybe just getting sick, or possibly even depressed.
I feel I might becoming addicted to a certain feeling, and the absence of the catalyst for this feeling may be causing a slight depression. Also, I am coming to the realization that my relationship with Rob reminds me entirely too much of the disaster my grandparents called their marriage. They cared for each other but could not stand being around one another. They did not speak unless they were fighting and rarely showed affection for one another. They had nothing in common, and both were miserable. Grandpa became a workaholic, grandma became manic and abusive, and I wonder if this is where I am headed. We talk about breaking up sometimes, but neither of us wants to be the one to do it. Neither of us wants to be without the other, but at the same time, we don't know how we should be together. I can't see any possibility of this getting better, but what if this is my only chance? What if this is as good as it gets.
I think I am just scared about the unknown. It would be nice to be in love, but I put that in the same category ad Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, a long time ago.