(no subject)
I hate my job. I should not be a secretary. This is bringing back mad youth baggage which is not fun. I have a poor memory and I can't express enough how crippling it can be in most situations. I can't control it and most people don't have this problem. Every action or item I remember is an incredible frustrating active task.
When you can't remember it makes it seem like you don't care about things you really care a lot about. It also makes it seem like you're really fucking stupid. Everything you do takes twice as long because there is no falling into a rhythm. References are a complete loss, so you can't have long conversations, or make otherwise obvious connections in research, or really pursue much of anything not written very carefully and dated with relating events.
It makes me feel like crap.
When you can't remember it makes it seem like you don't care about things you really care a lot about. It also makes it seem like you're really fucking stupid. Everything you do takes twice as long because there is no falling into a rhythm. References are a complete loss, so you can't have long conversations, or make otherwise obvious connections in research, or really pursue much of anything not written very carefully and dated with relating events.
It makes me feel like crap.