(no subject)
Angela comes back from the bar and sets down her bag with a thunk. She is able to make it to a chair before breaking down.
She’d promised. She had to do it.
If there’s one thing Angela believes in, it’s that she keeps her promises. She knows what a broken promise feels like on the other end, after all.
So right now, she doesn’t cry, she merely sits in her chair trembling for a little while, wondering what the hell she’s going to do with herself after she cuts back on things.
And it suddenly occurs to Angela that she doesn’t have to go this alone.
I’ve been making all of my own decisions, doing as much as I can, almost killing myself…but what do I really want to do? Where should I put my energy?
She was tired of fending for herself, of trying to blunder through on her own. Her parents let her do it, but… Angela sighed. She was hiding too much from them.
She took a shower to relax, using the nicest-smelling stuff she had, washed her hair, dried off and put on a set of comfortable pajamas, then went downstairs with her schedule.
“Mom, Dad? I need to talk to you…”
Her mother looks up, and a shadow of concern crosses her face. “Angela? Is everything all right?”
Angela shrugs, and comes over to squeeze in between her mom and dad on the big sofa. “I know you guys have been worried about me. About me doing too much. I…I just wanna try to not…” She takes a breath. “I think I should cut back…but I don’t know what to cut.”
“Oh, thank God,” her father says, curling his arm around her shoulders. He leans his head on her damp hair. “You have no idea how worried we’ve been. And I’m so relieved to hear you say that.”
Angela closes her eyes. “Things have been so…difficult, this past year. I…just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want to be. I just…there’s too much, and I can’t think anymore.” She swallows hard and bows her head.
“That’s why we’re here, sweetie,” her mother says gently. “To help you figure these things out. You’re still young, you can’t know everything and you’ve been very good at taking care of yourself and making your own decisions. But we’re always happy to help you with anything you need.”
She leans her head against her mother’s shoulder. “I’m so scared. I’m so scared of failing and not being what I should be…”
There’s a strong hand on her shoulder. “Angela. You’re what you should be when you’re just being our daughter. All of this other stuff is great, but it’s not what we think of when we think of you.”
“The tutoring, the constant lessons, the work with the magazine, the overtaxing yourself with schoolwork…” Her mother sighed. “It’s not necessary. It doesn’t make you any more our daughter than you were already. We love you, no matter what. You’re our daughter.”
Angela just listens and takes it all in. “I’ve just been…so much has happened, and…sometimes I’m not sure…not sure how much I can deal with.”
“You aren’t alone,” her mother says softly. “You’re never alone, no matter what.”
Angela sighs shakily and feels tension flood out of her so fast that she feels sleepy all of a sudden. “I’m so tired,” she says softly.
“Tomorrow, we’ll discuss what we’re going to do, then,” her father says, stroking her hair. “But now you should go to bed and get a good night’s sleep.”
Angela nods, and it’s difficult to get up from where she’s sitting, but she does, and kisses her parents goodnight before she heads back upstairs.
She crawls into the bed, and sinks into the mattress, grateful that tomorrow is Saturday, and there was time to hash everything out.
And her last conscious thought before drifting off is that she really owes Melou a pleasant evening the next time they’re together.
She’d promised. She had to do it.
If there’s one thing Angela believes in, it’s that she keeps her promises. She knows what a broken promise feels like on the other end, after all.
So right now, she doesn’t cry, she merely sits in her chair trembling for a little while, wondering what the hell she’s going to do with herself after she cuts back on things.
And it suddenly occurs to Angela that she doesn’t have to go this alone.
I’ve been making all of my own decisions, doing as much as I can, almost killing myself…but what do I really want to do? Where should I put my energy?
She was tired of fending for herself, of trying to blunder through on her own. Her parents let her do it, but… Angela sighed. She was hiding too much from them.
She took a shower to relax, using the nicest-smelling stuff she had, washed her hair, dried off and put on a set of comfortable pajamas, then went downstairs with her schedule.
“Mom, Dad? I need to talk to you…”
Her mother looks up, and a shadow of concern crosses her face. “Angela? Is everything all right?”
Angela shrugs, and comes over to squeeze in between her mom and dad on the big sofa. “I know you guys have been worried about me. About me doing too much. I…I just wanna try to not…” She takes a breath. “I think I should cut back…but I don’t know what to cut.”
“Oh, thank God,” her father says, curling his arm around her shoulders. He leans his head on her damp hair. “You have no idea how worried we’ve been. And I’m so relieved to hear you say that.”
Angela closes her eyes. “Things have been so…difficult, this past year. I…just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want to be. I just…there’s too much, and I can’t think anymore.” She swallows hard and bows her head.
“That’s why we’re here, sweetie,” her mother says gently. “To help you figure these things out. You’re still young, you can’t know everything and you’ve been very good at taking care of yourself and making your own decisions. But we’re always happy to help you with anything you need.”
She leans her head against her mother’s shoulder. “I’m so scared. I’m so scared of failing and not being what I should be…”
There’s a strong hand on her shoulder. “Angela. You’re what you should be when you’re just being our daughter. All of this other stuff is great, but it’s not what we think of when we think of you.”
“The tutoring, the constant lessons, the work with the magazine, the overtaxing yourself with schoolwork…” Her mother sighed. “It’s not necessary. It doesn’t make you any more our daughter than you were already. We love you, no matter what. You’re our daughter.”
Angela just listens and takes it all in. “I’ve just been…so much has happened, and…sometimes I’m not sure…not sure how much I can deal with.”
“You aren’t alone,” her mother says softly. “You’re never alone, no matter what.”
Angela sighs shakily and feels tension flood out of her so fast that she feels sleepy all of a sudden. “I’m so tired,” she says softly.
“Tomorrow, we’ll discuss what we’re going to do, then,” her father says, stroking her hair. “But now you should go to bed and get a good night’s sleep.”
Angela nods, and it’s difficult to get up from where she’s sitting, but she does, and kisses her parents goodnight before she heads back upstairs.
She crawls into the bed, and sinks into the mattress, grateful that tomorrow is Saturday, and there was time to hash everything out.
And her last conscious thought before drifting off is that she really owes Melou a pleasant evening the next time they’re together.