Sur une Fille
In the end, I was right. What I told her would happen at the beginning, happend at the end as I said it would.
In the end, I missed the dramatic climax; I saw it build, but later when I asked when it was coming, I was told it had already passed.
Full circle: I'd known her for a bit over two years, and in the end, we returned to the beginning - challenges, games of questions, displays of agility connecting minds to fingers to keys to screens. For a time, I was worried we'd never get back to that. She had seemed dulled over the past year, since going on medications, but it's clearly back to force. She told me that would happen when she went on them. She was right.
Full circle: I'd known her for a bit over two years, but she was now the same age she was to me when we met - she caught up. She's in the exact same place then as she was now; new boyfriend, leaving an old one; trying to find her place at a school she can easily master. Minus the natural ravages of experience, which change us all, she's who she was. Like the good Scout I was for 17 years, I've left the site in the same way it was when I found it.
In the end, there was laughter. Just as there was at the beginning. As with all cycles though, as things repeat themselves, their motivations change though stay the same.. Before it was excited, nervous laughter. Now, it was a laughter of looking back. Both times though, they were exploratory laughters. She says she laughs because people underestimate her (they don't, she just underestimates what people think of her), I laught because I enjoy myself. Forward or backwards, the game played out the same; very nearly pallindromical in effect, although not quite.
Pallindromes and circles, both can go on forever (both do). The difference is that a circle neither begins nor ends, while a pallindrome does both, constantly. The finality of the beginning is matched only by the commencement of the end. Then you run the word again.
There is finality here. I can't say if it is final finality (recent experience would suggest otherwise, she retains the ability to be hurt by my unthinking and to reach into the shell she built), but it is finality. We've come to the front end of the pallindrome, we move on to the next word.
The last conversation was great, exciting, fun (just as the first). The last two years were the same. It was vivid. It was better than Cats.
And so it goes. =)
In the end, I missed the dramatic climax; I saw it build, but later when I asked when it was coming, I was told it had already passed.
Full circle: I'd known her for a bit over two years, and in the end, we returned to the beginning - challenges, games of questions, displays of agility connecting minds to fingers to keys to screens. For a time, I was worried we'd never get back to that. She had seemed dulled over the past year, since going on medications, but it's clearly back to force. She told me that would happen when she went on them. She was right.
Full circle: I'd known her for a bit over two years, but she was now the same age she was to me when we met - she caught up. She's in the exact same place then as she was now; new boyfriend, leaving an old one; trying to find her place at a school she can easily master. Minus the natural ravages of experience, which change us all, she's who she was. Like the good Scout I was for 17 years, I've left the site in the same way it was when I found it.
In the end, there was laughter. Just as there was at the beginning. As with all cycles though, as things repeat themselves, their motivations change though stay the same.. Before it was excited, nervous laughter. Now, it was a laughter of looking back. Both times though, they were exploratory laughters. She says she laughs because people underestimate her (they don't, she just underestimates what people think of her), I laught because I enjoy myself. Forward or backwards, the game played out the same; very nearly pallindromical in effect, although not quite.
Pallindromes and circles, both can go on forever (both do). The difference is that a circle neither begins nor ends, while a pallindrome does both, constantly. The finality of the beginning is matched only by the commencement of the end. Then you run the word again.
There is finality here. I can't say if it is final finality (recent experience would suggest otherwise, she retains the ability to be hurt by my unthinking and to reach into the shell she built), but it is finality. We've come to the front end of the pallindrome, we move on to the next word.
The last conversation was great, exciting, fun (just as the first). The last two years were the same. It was vivid. It was better than Cats.
And so it goes. =)