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Prologue| Table of Contents|Chapter 1
Profiles
As I menntioned in the prologue, I'm putting the profiles up front because if we play the + version of the game, that prologue don't exist. So if we're new players who didn't "migrate over" from the offline version, these profiles are the only "preview" of the characters that we ever get to see.
I... I just realized that the profiles were coloured in such a way that I can arrange them into a rainbow. That's kind of fun 'cause I love rainbows, so that's the order I'm gonna go with. Let's go!
*sigh* Yeah, player. I have nothing to comment on this on its own. All the sleaze he spouted in the prologue are the "typical playboy lines" from shoujo manga, so I'm unfazed. I don't like it and it's annoying, but... what else am I supposed to say? It's more than obvious that he won't listen to his orders about "no touchy", but it's not like we'll know for sure until we starts up the route. Although I have to give you kudos for the characterization. Ishikawa Goemon purportedly became a renegade thief/ninja/whatever because he was caught having an affair with his ninjutsu teacher's wife, so making him the playboy character seems to be a nod to that background. Hey, I think I will give them points for making an interesting spin of historical facts.
Dango: 1
Dango is tasty. Oh, and at the risk of overbloating the post even more... I think it might be fun to post pictures of what they actually look like whenever possible. Japanese portraits can be very stylized, so it's not necessarily a good comparison, but eeh...
His "cheerfulness" proved to be overbearing and also irritating, if we saw the prologue. It doesn't count if you don't see it, though. There's not actually much to see here, because all that is taken straight out of traditional beliefs. It's just... common, so I won't give it dango points either.
That's actually kind of funny. It really would've been nice to catch a glimpse of that. Still, he does sound like he's worth checking out. On the history side of things, this guy isn't even someone real, so I don't understand why he's included at all. It's not a case of "let's stuff famous folks in here for the lulz" because I tried to find his name high and low with no such luck. So his purpose to be here is? Just to have the "kind and gentle" character trope in here? I really would much rather have Nobukatsu, because he's the very reason this disaster actually happened in history in the first place, but that's just me fangirling over history and that doesn't count.
Whoa, that last bit sounds ominous. "Not belonging to any clan" is kind of the definition of "ronin", buuuut... I suppose it's fine because not everyone knows that. I wonder if he's the progenitor of the shonen manga trope of "I fight so I can become stronger" and everything. This is also taken straight out of tradition, so there's not much to say about this. Heck, he even looks suspiciously similar to the Musashi from the manga Vagabond. I wonder if they're purposely cribbing designs as a "hint hint" kind of thing?
The funniest thing about this is that the "reality" picture is drawn by Musashi himself. Probably in his later years, when he's settled down and became a formal teacher of swordsmanship. He seemed to take up painting as a hobby around that time. It's still funny to look at, though.
I'm not happy! Why is the profile so short, just like back when he wasn't an eligible bachelor? Also... I think that profile is missing a few words there.
The Art of Words: 7
Although considering you aren't allowed to read Hanzo's route unless you finish one other route or shell out some real cash, then we get to see Hanzo beign a derp when it comes to romance and otherwise being an overprotective mama bear who yells at everyone for being rude to the heroine. Also, by now I really have no idea what the purpose of knowing their heights and "job" and "weapons" are. It doesn't add anything to the plot or provide extra information. Why don't you tell us something more entertaining, like favourite food or age or nicknames or birthdays or whatever!
You saw Hanzo's picture in the Progloue, but...
I don't know when that portrait is drawn, but, well, Hanzo IS not that young. As per 1581 he's... what, 40-ish? 39, maybe?
Taken straight out of tradition again... Hfff... Well, we'll just see. I mean, in the prologue he's not jsut "cold and distant". He's outright rude and demeaning for no reason. If/when we take a look at his route, I'm fully expecting you to show us how he interacts with the so-called subordinates and the other people. I mean, if by "well-liked" it means "he has many screaming fangirls because he's hot", it really doesn't count.
Heh. Always rational? His tagline makes it sound like he's actually a pervert. Munenori's characterization varies depending on the author. Some would say he's ambitious and cunning, some says he's dead-loyal to the Tokugawa, YMMV. It really depends on how you view the fact that he's leading the ninja-like Ura-Yagyu group and whether or not you believe the rumours that said he killed his own son out of jealousy (the shogun had favoured Munenori's son more).
I'm not entirely certain what the logic behind his design was. To subvert the manly man samurai image? Because... well, this:
It's not like Munenori was famous for being dainty or anything. Warlord Uesugi Kenshin has been described in some documents as being very beautiful, so depicting him as pretty makes sense. This? "Just because pretty is good"? Oh, heck, why am I questioning design choices of sparkly romance manga games.
I'm... I'm still grumpy about Munenori and Musashi, man. They really didn't need to be here. I'm somewhat fine with it because after so many anachronical Sengoku story, I'm starting to be come unfazed by it, but... but... LOGIC. I keep on yammering about wanting Nobukatsu to have a route because that would've been more logical, but on the other hand in manga-land and logic hardly ever applies and... I can't tell what's supposed to matter or not anymore *sobs*
... You know what? I'm an artist. I can draw. Here, have a Nobukatsu from me:
I can make WTF samurai designs too! Hire me!
A... a gun? Where did you get that from? Just because? Look, it's cool that you know that samurai and ninja do too use matchlock guns, but... Kotaro? That's random. Also, he's portrayed as an utter stoic here, which is probably a purposeful subversion of the traditional interpretations of Kotaro being a havoc-wreaking beast who causes trouble for everyone. Him being totally respectful to Hanzo is also funny because he was purportedly the one who killed Hanzo, so he's sometimes portrayed as Hanzo's archrival or something or the other.
Dango: 2
And now it's time for the Grand Overlord Of Evil And Doom, Nobunaga:
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!!!! WHAT... WHAT IS THAT... AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Am I supposed to be terrified? I cna't! I just can't! Not when I have both The Stripper and I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt playing in my head at the same time, AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH I'M TOO DISTRACTED BY HIS APPEARANCE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
This is not as bad as George, but holy shit... Hahahahahahaha, help me, hahahahahhahahahhaha!!!
I mean, COME ON! He's dressed more like a bum than Musashi, who is literally a homeless bum. Look at him, he's not even wearing shoes! I just... Where did you get this kind of silly costume from??? Oh, wait, profile. We need to see his profile.
You know, this profile is ruined and dead because of the picture. Oh, he's terrifying! Oh, he wants to take over the world!
But he looks like a drunk person who just rolled out of bed in the morning with a terrible hangover! How am I supposed to take this seriously? *continues to roll around laughing like an idiot*
Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Calm. I'm calm.
This appearance would have been fine if Nobunaga is 20 years old, not 48. You remember the thing I said about the Kabukimono in the Prologue? The neighbourhood punks and hoodlums who go about wearing crazy clothes and did their hairs all weird and all that? Nobunaga was one back when he was young. Historical records say that he goes about wearing shorts and bathrobe with the sleeves removed. And I do mean bathrobe; what he was wearing was apparently the a light kimono worn for bathing. He was such a rebel that some rumours said that he went to visit his father-in-law riding his horse backwards and wearing a wang-patterned kimono just to screw with everyone's heads:
Granted, depicting older!Nobunaga in that bizarre kabukimono outfit has been done before, but that kind of appearance is usually more associated to his youth. Besides, I honestly don't think he was originally meant to be a love interest in this game, so dressing him up like that just makes me ask "WHY" over and over and over. You just don't draw the villain looking like this unless it has a point, and it doesn't! He dresses like that just because and nobody ever mentions that his clothes look weird.
Ig, again, they just want to avoid the common trope of dressing Nobu up in Western armours and such, then it's a very weird choice of clothes to put him in O__O
And... that's that. I'm going to reset the counts for the routes because each route is more or less its own thing.
Stats
Chronicles of WTF: 16
Demon King of 666th Heaven: 5
The Art of Words: 7
The Plot Hath Decreed: 5
Little Villains Grind Their Teeth: 1
Prologue| Table of Contents|Chapter 1