(no subject)
So my baby is here...it's been a rough week. The C-section went very well. I lost the name battle. He is named Logan. :( But he is healthy so it's all ok. My mother came to help out after I got home from the hospital and that was just a nightmere. Her and my husband got in a huge fight and she left. (horrible story I won't bore you with details...)
Logan is a little jaundiced and they have him on a Bili blanket for a few days. And we have to take him to the pediatrician on Tues. to get a heart echo b/c they have detected a heart murmur. I am scared to death. I know that they can be no big deal, but sometimes they can be a very big deal and I know how our luck usually is...
I need help around the house come Wed and I have no one to do it. My incision is killing me, the depression is hitting and I am fighting as hard as I can.
But my baby boy is here and that is such a blessing. I am in such a state of betweeness and confusion...but I love the miracle dearly. I need my husband more than ever right now and I hope he recognizes that and steps up his game. Because I don't know if I can hold on much longer. I even broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes last night.
I also saw something today that I probably shouldn't have and it's eating me away inside and I don't know how to approach it to him. I'm scared that I have found out what I've been trying to find for months now. Please don't let it be. I can't take anymore.
Logan is a little jaundiced and they have him on a Bili blanket for a few days. And we have to take him to the pediatrician on Tues. to get a heart echo b/c they have detected a heart murmur. I am scared to death. I know that they can be no big deal, but sometimes they can be a very big deal and I know how our luck usually is...
I need help around the house come Wed and I have no one to do it. My incision is killing me, the depression is hitting and I am fighting as hard as I can.
But my baby boy is here and that is such a blessing. I am in such a state of betweeness and confusion...but I love the miracle dearly. I need my husband more than ever right now and I hope he recognizes that and steps up his game. Because I don't know if I can hold on much longer. I even broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes last night.
I also saw something today that I probably shouldn't have and it's eating me away inside and I don't know how to approach it to him. I'm scared that I have found out what I've been trying to find for months now. Please don't let it be. I can't take anymore.