The real story behind the One Ring
Long ago, the Dark Lord Sauran was a more subtle creature. His were the ways of guild and deceit. In order to gain the trust of the Men of Middle-Earth, he made for them and all their people a great batch of Dark Chocolate chip cookies! Then, deep within the firey furnaces of his fortress at Mt. Doom, the Dark Lord baked the Master Cookie. Inscribed in quick dry icing there was written "One cookie to rule them. One to in fire bind them!" The One Cookie brought the Dark Lord much power, yet made him vulnerable. He gave the One Cookie to his most trusted lieutenant, who took it forth to conquer the peoples of Middle-Earth. But the One Cookie did not belong to him and so lept from his saddle back and found its way into the hands of a most unlikely creature. To Golum the Cookie granted unnatural long life. And he hid it away deep in a cave so that none could find his precious. But as the years passed Golum grew hungry and one day in a fit of hunger induced rage, he eated the One Cookie. When the Dark Lord learned of this, he first was enraged. Yet after much time and the tortured death of his baker, he elected are more solid approach to world domination and turned to the craft of ring making.