stare long enough into the void and the void will stare back into you.

[angel_of_ruin]

a cameleon doesn't cry when his skin instinctually blends.
but he might consider skinning himself when he comes to realize
that love is blind to all but bloodiest red.

you are never unique, but you are always alone

Comments

love is part of instinct. and instinct doesn't care who you think you are.

[angel_of_ruin]

you are suffering.
this is how you a know you are alive.
you have many choices.
choosing not to live is the only one that will free you from the responsibility/burden you accept by choosing to continue eating and drinking and sleeping.
there is only one true standard of existence to denote applicability.
and that is functionality.
is this a criteria you can fill?
well then you are most certainly alive. and as there is no after life and there is no god that would care what you do in this world, there is only the system in which we live, then you must make the choice to live within the system or choose to live outside of it.
these technicalities are all well and good outside the longings of the heart.
but as with all logical things, reason has no place in the heart.
it longs without relent and rarely takes into account the realities outside of the microcosm of its own desires.
knowing this, you must make another choice. to listen to your heart or not.
but as you have found, listening is a dangerous and often unreasonably painful endeavor. there is no happiness to be found for those who see happiness as a thing that can be obtained. happiness is the side effect of satiation. but in the case of the heart where satiation is not often possible, there is an alternative. one in which i have long since elected.
declare war on all things within yourself that do not care about your suffering. your heart is numbero uno on the list. always coaxing you to jump on swords for the cause. your identity is just a speed bump on the road to your hearts content. remember that.
there is no happiness to be found. i can tell you this from experience.
but happiness will come to you when you are content with your own actions.
this, too, i know.
i am a very lonely guy. but i am often quite happy with my life simply because i have chosen so many facets of it.
my heart may be writhing from time to time, but that is what communication is for. it can say what it wants within a controlled environment, but it just has to watch its tracks. cause i've got my eye on it and i'm not tolerating any of it's bs.
anyways, this was a rant. it's up in the air as to whether there is a point it is making.
another choice for you to make.
that's the only real freedom you have anyways. use it all you can.

there's no getting around it. every answer always leads to more questions.
for those of us who go far enough to find this out, this is this great thing
called exhaustion. it's guaranteed to put an end to your impertinent consciousness.