(no subject)
Omen Machine will not be performing at Electrophest.
i feel slightly bad for NoShow, as it would have been a fantastic opportunity for him to get exposure, sell some merch, network, etc. it isn't that i think Omen Machine sucks; on the contrary, i think NoShow's music is amazing and i think he is very talented, and i still wake up with his songs blipping their way through my head in the morning.
it's just that listening to his music reminds me of him. of us. it brings memories rushing back to the surface like bile rising in my throat, choking me.
being around him would have made me a wreck. hearing his voice, however distorted... smelling angel*men cologne wafting over the stink of cigarettes and liquor and sweat...
i am relieved. i most likely never have to see him again.
***
so now i am completely looking forward to Electrophest, and especially to seeing Marc and Bradd and Daniel and Jacob, the fantastic Detroit DJs i met at the Psyclon Nine show when i first moved here. i am excited to give Marc his birthday present, and to stay with him the day after for his barbeque (god i love his house). i need to remember to make him some sugar-free cupcakes. ^_^
***
Sean and i talked last night until 1:30 am. i cuddled Tako-san (the octopus plush i bought at the zoo when i went with Sean) as i slept.
anytime i find myself drowning in my more unpleasant past, i think of our first date together, and how utterly perfect it was. i think of every day since that he has been part of my life. every day my past fills just a little bit more with him.
i am thankful that he had the courage to ask for my number after we met at the bookstore, and to kiss me the first time (i wanted to, but i couldn't bring myself to do it), and to comfort me when the sour darkness comes creeping through my brain again.
i love him.
sometimes i fear that saying that aloud precipitates the end...
i feel slightly bad for NoShow, as it would have been a fantastic opportunity for him to get exposure, sell some merch, network, etc. it isn't that i think Omen Machine sucks; on the contrary, i think NoShow's music is amazing and i think he is very talented, and i still wake up with his songs blipping their way through my head in the morning.
it's just that listening to his music reminds me of him. of us. it brings memories rushing back to the surface like bile rising in my throat, choking me.
being around him would have made me a wreck. hearing his voice, however distorted... smelling angel*men cologne wafting over the stink of cigarettes and liquor and sweat...
i am relieved. i most likely never have to see him again.
***
so now i am completely looking forward to Electrophest, and especially to seeing Marc and Bradd and Daniel and Jacob, the fantastic Detroit DJs i met at the Psyclon Nine show when i first moved here. i am excited to give Marc his birthday present, and to stay with him the day after for his barbeque (god i love his house). i need to remember to make him some sugar-free cupcakes. ^_^
***
Sean and i talked last night until 1:30 am. i cuddled Tako-san (the octopus plush i bought at the zoo when i went with Sean) as i slept.
anytime i find myself drowning in my more unpleasant past, i think of our first date together, and how utterly perfect it was. i think of every day since that he has been part of my life. every day my past fills just a little bit more with him.
i am thankful that he had the courage to ask for my number after we met at the bookstore, and to kiss me the first time (i wanted to, but i couldn't bring myself to do it), and to comfort me when the sour darkness comes creeping through my brain again.
i love him.
sometimes i fear that saying that aloud precipitates the end...