(no subject)
La Jolla today, and my parents told me all kinds of stories -- cliff jumpers and runaway bikes and keg parties and jeeps on the beach. I love their stories. We walked on the cliffs and made plans to go kayaking some day; we swam and talked and laughed and I just love my family. And for the last few minutes I've watched my dog bury her bone in my old sandbox and her movements are just so sporadic and awkward, I love her too.
I just feel so fulfilled sometimes, like when I cook or read or do something especially productive. Then sometimes I think about the 96 hours of my life I've put into Zoo Corps and I wonder if it's really worth it. Was Girls in Science, every Thursday, really worth it? It made the split come faster I think, all the time I put into my extra-curriculars. My mom pushed me but I let her. And I still know that it will help me, all this ambition, all the time I've spent and given away. But I wonder if it's really worth it, I guess, because sometimes as I walk into the Otto Center at the San Diego Zoo, I'm not thinking about how fun the next five hours are going to be, I'm not animated because the only thing that's really passing through my mind is was this worth it, was this really worth losing him?
Wow, I didn't mean for this to be a sad post, I didn't at all.