Waterslide
I remember distinctly one of my childhood memories about swim class. There was a water slide at the pool that everyone loved to go down. I was always too scared to go down it but one day I thought I'd give it a shot. After waiting my turn, I slowly climbed up to the top and looked down. That one glance made me lose all my resolve to go down the slide so I froze stiff and started crying. Some of the other kids who wanted to go down were yelling at me and trying to push me down. Finally a lifeguard told them to leave me alone so I could climb down the ladder. I never tried going down that slide again...nor did I ever swim in the deep end because I was a bad swimmer.
The point, I feel like I'm at the top of that slide again with this internship. I've had an opportunity like this before with the internship in New York. I pretty much HAD that internship if I just bothered to find some housing. In the end, I folded, too scared to go to a big city. I climbed down the ladder and worked at a local place. (Which was awesome because then I could do JAFAX).
I definitely HAVE this internship...after I turn in the form to sign up for Independent Study and get the stuff to the International Office. :3 But now the old 2nd thoughts are kicking in. First time out of the country...I've never been so far from home by myself. Of course, I have this prejudice that they will hate me because I'm American. (Because my Uncle definitely had an experience like that when he went to the UK). So basically, I'll be all alone save for the peeps at the company.
Secondly, I feel pressured to perform of course to give a great impression. There's probably no way I could get a job in a foreign country (I don't want to be the dirty Mexican who steals jobs from the locals). On top of that, they are PAYING me. And I still feel like I should be grateful that they're willing to hire me on at ALL. I would work for crumpets. XD But I shouldn't be like that, I should and am glad they're paying me. It's just weird.
Fear of the unknown sort of has me wavering here at the edge. I could be in England for up to 3 months...although, I really only want to stay 6 or 8 weeks. (2 months). However, I'll be pushing myself down this slide. My boss worked really hard to get me this connection, I've made the commitment to our contact, and I have the form for the class in my hand to turn in to earn credit. I'm just nervous.
The point, I feel like I'm at the top of that slide again with this internship. I've had an opportunity like this before with the internship in New York. I pretty much HAD that internship if I just bothered to find some housing. In the end, I folded, too scared to go to a big city. I climbed down the ladder and worked at a local place. (Which was awesome because then I could do JAFAX).
I definitely HAVE this internship...after I turn in the form to sign up for Independent Study and get the stuff to the International Office. :3 But now the old 2nd thoughts are kicking in. First time out of the country...I've never been so far from home by myself. Of course, I have this prejudice that they will hate me because I'm American. (Because my Uncle definitely had an experience like that when he went to the UK). So basically, I'll be all alone save for the peeps at the company.
Secondly, I feel pressured to perform of course to give a great impression. There's probably no way I could get a job in a foreign country (I don't want to be the dirty Mexican who steals jobs from the locals). On top of that, they are PAYING me. And I still feel like I should be grateful that they're willing to hire me on at ALL. I would work for crumpets. XD But I shouldn't be like that, I should and am glad they're paying me. It's just weird.
Fear of the unknown sort of has me wavering here at the edge. I could be in England for up to 3 months...although, I really only want to stay 6 or 8 weeks. (2 months). However, I'll be pushing myself down this slide. My boss worked really hard to get me this connection, I've made the commitment to our contact, and I have the form for the class in my hand to turn in to earn credit. I'm just nervous.