(no subject)
Hi hi hi! I'm still alive! I miss Livejournal terribly! *sob* How much do computers cost? Cuz I want one with my tax return. I simply cannot live without my midnight ramblings, and those nights when you have nothing to do so you just do quizzes and post your results... I miss it all so much! Even now I only have a half an hour left on here and so much to do! *sniffles*
I feel like a horrible person. Danny is beginning to wonder why I spend all my free time at the library. Why it is so important for me to check my email at least once a week and absolutely no less. Oh well. I'm quite happy in my achievements as of late. Scandalous as they may be. No, that's making me sound really bad. But most boyfriends would have had a confrontation with me by now. To say the least. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable if Danny's only priority in the week was to email an ex-girlfriend. But I'm so happy that I actually succeeded in what I set out to do. I found him! And I'm happy with that! He's alive and well and that's all I wanted to know. To say nothing of the fact that he's back in town and his girlfriend just shipped out only to be restationed on the east coast after this tour... That actually makes me nervous but whatever. Danny and I have had quite a few fights lately and been at each others throats but I think things are settling down. I'm beginning to be happy with what I've got. I've gotta stop wondering what else is out there!
See, there's my big issue. Do I chase after a dream that might not exist? Or be happy with the calm, rational sense of happiness I've got? Yes, this was brought about by my finding you-know-who, but has nothing to do with him. It got me realizing that maybe I'm giving up on everything I've ever believed in if I stay with Danny. Maybe I'm settling. Maybe there's a true love out there waiting for me to find it! Or maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is growing up. Maybe chasing my dreams will make me more unhappy! Certainly this happiness makes sense. But is that enough?
Oh whatever. I try not to think about that a whole lot. I'm living day to day and that's it. I enjoy what happiness I have in the here and now. Forget about what COULD be. If it SHOULD be, it will find me. Right? I hope so...
We were thinking about getting a cat... lol... But I sort of feel like that's a betrayal to my dogs. Whiskey will always be the only pet that will ever matter. I can't let anybody else take his place! Well... if the apartment complex will change enough to allow cats, perhaps they'll start allowing small dogs and he can come visit. Who knows.
Alright twenty minutes left and still lots to do. I hope to make another entry soon, but don't know when I'll be able to. Maybe on Monday.
I love you all and miss you terribly!
I feel like a horrible person. Danny is beginning to wonder why I spend all my free time at the library. Why it is so important for me to check my email at least once a week and absolutely no less. Oh well. I'm quite happy in my achievements as of late. Scandalous as they may be. No, that's making me sound really bad. But most boyfriends would have had a confrontation with me by now. To say the least. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable if Danny's only priority in the week was to email an ex-girlfriend. But I'm so happy that I actually succeeded in what I set out to do. I found him! And I'm happy with that! He's alive and well and that's all I wanted to know. To say nothing of the fact that he's back in town and his girlfriend just shipped out only to be restationed on the east coast after this tour... That actually makes me nervous but whatever. Danny and I have had quite a few fights lately and been at each others throats but I think things are settling down. I'm beginning to be happy with what I've got. I've gotta stop wondering what else is out there!
See, there's my big issue. Do I chase after a dream that might not exist? Or be happy with the calm, rational sense of happiness I've got? Yes, this was brought about by my finding you-know-who, but has nothing to do with him. It got me realizing that maybe I'm giving up on everything I've ever believed in if I stay with Danny. Maybe I'm settling. Maybe there's a true love out there waiting for me to find it! Or maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is growing up. Maybe chasing my dreams will make me more unhappy! Certainly this happiness makes sense. But is that enough?
Oh whatever. I try not to think about that a whole lot. I'm living day to day and that's it. I enjoy what happiness I have in the here and now. Forget about what COULD be. If it SHOULD be, it will find me. Right? I hope so...
We were thinking about getting a cat... lol... But I sort of feel like that's a betrayal to my dogs. Whiskey will always be the only pet that will ever matter. I can't let anybody else take his place! Well... if the apartment complex will change enough to allow cats, perhaps they'll start allowing small dogs and he can come visit. Who knows.
Alright twenty minutes left and still lots to do. I hope to make another entry soon, but don't know when I'll be able to. Maybe on Monday.
I love you all and miss you terribly!