Things not to say to a call center* employee...
"How can I help you?"
"Put your supervisor on the line."
That's not how the escalation process works. There are only so many supervisors available and you might end up waiting for a while to speak to them. It might seem like a waste of time to talk to the agent if you feel that this is something the supervisor needs to take care of, but 9/10 times I've had someone ask for a supervisor, it was something that a normal desk agent can very easily do. If the agent still can't do it after you've explained the situation, yeah, get a supervisor on the line.
"How can I help you?"
"Fuck you and fuck your company!"
Hi, yes, I'm just trying to do my job. Just because you are mad at the company that pays my bills doesn't mean you should get to verbally abuse us and make us your verbal punching bags. There are hundreds, if not thousands of other agents who do the same job as I do and you and I have probably never talked before and probably never will talk again so you have a very short amount of time with me to get things fixed so why waste it throwing a temper tantrum and throwing insults at the poor schmucks answering phones who just wants to get through their work day? Tell me what's going on and I'll see what I can do to fix it. Let's be adults here.
"I've been a customer for xxx number of years."
Unless you are talking to the retention department, this does nothing, but elicit a huge eye roll. Sometimes long time customers get deals. Sometimes they don't. but this particular phrase just makes you sound entitled and whiny. Again, if it's retention that you are seeking, that's a whole different ballgame (I do not work in retention and I honeslty feel bad for those that do. It's where phone calls go to die).
"NO I'M NOT INTERESTED! SKIP THAT!"
Yeah, we don't like pitching crap at you either. But we have to. It's ok to decline the offer. But if you interupt us and we don't get to finish the offer we can actually get in trouble. We hate pitching it to you more than you hate being pitched to. Trust me on that one.
"This is what you're gonna do."
No. This is what you're gonna tell me I'm gonna do and then I'm going to see if I can actually do it for you. If I can, it'll happen. If not, well, I guess you'll be wanting to see my supervisor. This is an appropriate way to get in touch with a supervisor, but a needlessly douchy way of wording it. Again, let's be adults please.
Just remember, there is a person on the other end of the line that is just trying to do their job. We are there to help you and treating us like shit makes us not want to help you. It'll work out better for all of us if you put on your big boy pants and have an adult conversation. It'll make things go faster and get a lot more done than pitching a fit and dehumanizing the voice on the other end of the line. Let's just work together and makes these calls quick, easy, and friendly.
Is there anything else I can help you with today? No? Ok, well thank you for reading my blog entry. I hope you have a nice day.
*not all call centers are the same, but this is how mine works. just in general don't be a douchebag.