(no subject)
I don't know why I let myself get so emotionally worked up over fiction. After SPN 6x22 I was up until sunrise chatting with friends in the SPN Party Chat. I was sad for days. I had trouble sleeping. The only thing that kept me strong was my God!Cas fiction and the support of fellow fangirls. Well, I don't write John/Sherlock fiction (maybe I should start?) so all I have right now is the support of my fellow fangirls. Hence this post.
I had trouble getting to sleep last night, but I have work today so I had to take a pill, which I haven't had to do in months. I dreamed about it and my stomach hurts and my head is pounding. This is a lot to deal with...
I wasn't afraid for even a minute that Sherlock was actually dead. Besides the fact that he comes back in the source material, the show has also been renewed for another season. Doesn't matter. What DOES matter is John's pain over the ordeal. I truly believe that John is completely, entirely, and canonically in love with Sherlock. CANON. And I don't think I'm looking through slash goggles either.
I really felt like they were going to confess their undying love to each other during that phone call. It seriously seemed like that's where it was going. I thought "finally, a slash ship is about to be made canon" and then I thought "OH GOD PAIN INCOMING" and then I nearly threw up. The fact that they didn't actually say "I love you" doesn't mean much, because...
... they reached for each other. In those last moments, they reached for each other. This is the moment that broke me. I had to look away from the screen and keysmash on Tumblr for a bit.
And then we have...
"No one is that clever."
"You are."
John will always believe in Sherlock. No matter what. Everyone else has turned against him. Everyone is convinced he's a fraud. But John believes him. And Sherlock knows that. He knows that John is and always will be the most important person in the world to him. Even more important than himself, which isn't really something you'd expect from a self proclaimed sociopath. But the fact that Sherlock was actually CRYING is enough evidence of that. And yeah, ok, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade were also in the line of fire, but when Moriarty laid out what was going to happen Sherlock's first thought was "John." Then Moriarty had to remind him "oh yeah and your other two friends will be fucked too." Oh right. Not that I don't think Sherlock cares about Hudson and Lestrade, but John will always be first in his mind. John is the love of his life. John makes him think about someone other than himself. It's John. It's always John. Always.
Call it "slash goggles" or whatever, but I truly believe the feeling that these two men have for each other is love. They might not be boning each other, but they are life partners. They've changed each other in ways I'm sure neither of them expected. And they are loyal to each other through anything. They trust each other. They have faith in each other. They complete each other.
Ugh, I have to go to work, but I think when I get home I'm going to rewatch it (UGH WHY) and type out more feelings. This is a lot to process.
I had trouble getting to sleep last night, but I have work today so I had to take a pill, which I haven't had to do in months. I dreamed about it and my stomach hurts and my head is pounding. This is a lot to deal with...
I wasn't afraid for even a minute that Sherlock was actually dead. Besides the fact that he comes back in the source material, the show has also been renewed for another season. Doesn't matter. What DOES matter is John's pain over the ordeal. I truly believe that John is completely, entirely, and canonically in love with Sherlock. CANON. And I don't think I'm looking through slash goggles either.
I really felt like they were going to confess their undying love to each other during that phone call. It seriously seemed like that's where it was going. I thought "finally, a slash ship is about to be made canon" and then I thought "OH GOD PAIN INCOMING" and then I nearly threw up. The fact that they didn't actually say "I love you" doesn't mean much, because...
... they reached for each other. In those last moments, they reached for each other. This is the moment that broke me. I had to look away from the screen and keysmash on Tumblr for a bit.
And then we have...
"No one is that clever."
"You are."
John will always believe in Sherlock. No matter what. Everyone else has turned against him. Everyone is convinced he's a fraud. But John believes him. And Sherlock knows that. He knows that John is and always will be the most important person in the world to him. Even more important than himself, which isn't really something you'd expect from a self proclaimed sociopath. But the fact that Sherlock was actually CRYING is enough evidence of that. And yeah, ok, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade were also in the line of fire, but when Moriarty laid out what was going to happen Sherlock's first thought was "John." Then Moriarty had to remind him "oh yeah and your other two friends will be fucked too." Oh right. Not that I don't think Sherlock cares about Hudson and Lestrade, but John will always be first in his mind. John is the love of his life. John makes him think about someone other than himself. It's John. It's always John. Always.
Call it "slash goggles" or whatever, but I truly believe the feeling that these two men have for each other is love. They might not be boning each other, but they are life partners. They've changed each other in ways I'm sure neither of them expected. And they are loyal to each other through anything. They trust each other. They have faith in each other. They complete each other.
Ugh, I have to go to work, but I think when I get home I'm going to rewatch it (UGH WHY) and type out more feelings. This is a lot to process.