Theresa's Magical Writing Academy -- Prompt 1

[angel_fixation]

Dear Melanie (and anyone else who would like to try this),

Please write a minimum of 200 words, beginning with the following line:

She had never seen anything like it before. It was big, round, and....

Please post your responses below in the comment box, or you can give it to me at our next tutoring session.

Thank you for your hard work and being such

Comments

Re: Theresa's Magical Writing Acadamy, Prompt 1

[angel_fixation]

Well written, Melanie!

I had no idea that you knew about Greek mythology. Love it! I can definitely see a full story developing out of this....

I really liked your character interaction. A challenge in writing lies in "Telling vs. Showing." A lot of people "Tell" who their characters are; for instance: "Hera was beautiful and vain, and only slightly cunning." However, you "showed" who her character was through her interaction with Andromeda. The following lines demonstrate:

"Andromeda took the orb in her hands cautiously. Hera had been known to come up with clever tricks in the past. One wrong move and she’d be done for. It was gorgeous, though!"

Through this character interaction, we are "shown" something about both characters, and they become more real in our minds. Showing is always better than telling.

I could also tell a lot about Andromeda's personality by their conversation. "What is it?" "What?" "Oh. Why are you giving it to me?" Very funny! And with Hera smiling sneakily the whole time.

"In the mean time, Andromeda was having fun wishing up new togas, hair irons, and ankle bracelets." This says a lot about her personality too, without you having to directly "tell" us anything about her!

You write very well, Melanie! I am impressed by your vocabulary and how much thought you put in to your stories. This is getting an A++++++ on my end. I absolutely love reading your writing. Keep up the excellent work!