.Kill me softly.
I hate myself. I am really depressed for some reason, and I have binged so fucking badly tonight. I almost started crying so many times tonight over nothing. Watching Rugrats All Grown Up. For some reason it's making me cry. Maybe because I want it to be a kid again. And it's making me wish I was a kid even more. No real problems. No voice inside my head screaming at me to eat, and not eat, and all that shit. I wish it could just be over. I wish I could just die. I want to puke. I would purge if my mother wasn't home. I hate it when I binge and can't purge. I almost went for a walk and found someone to do it since it's dark, but it's also very cold. I just want to sleep forever. Well, for a while anyway. Until I'm thin. That's all I want. To be thin. It's not fucking fair. I hate having an appitite.