cant sleep
Well i wrote in my live journal earlier and now i cant sleep so i thought that id wright again.
I Came onto the computer and i saw that mine and kristinas aol conversation was still up.
of course i started missing talking to her right away. so i started reading it.
I've came to the conclusion that...
I am scared shitless of this.
I'm so scared that im conna mess this whole thing up.
I'm conna do something wrong and make it to the point where im conna lose her.
I'm so unbelievably in love with her and its only been about a week.
How can i say such a thing. especially to her. i must be crazy.
She is conna freak out on me soon enough for telling her that.
i dont want her to think that im pressuring her into anything
i wanna go slow and i wanna jus make sure everything works out perfectly for us.
but yet the other side of me wants to rush into it.
i wanna ask her out right now.
under the stars.
i wanna kiss her lips and hold her.
ill never let go.
jus hold her and think about how someday we could have a family, a life, everything of sure pleasure.
Please dont let me mess up.
Dear God,
I haven't spoken to you seriously since the incident with my father. I want you back in my life at this time. I want you to know that I'm willing to try with this. God, I met this girl. I'm head over heels in love with her. I know that you knew that but I enjoy telling everyone about her wether they know or not. I'll come see you Sunday. I promise. I'm so scared because it's been so long since I recieved you. Please don't be disappointed with me. I'm cleaning myself up. This girl is helping. Now I must go. I know that I'll talk to you again. I Love You.
Chaz
P.S. Please send cigarettes from heaven that aren't bad for me... :-(
I Came onto the computer and i saw that mine and kristinas aol conversation was still up.
of course i started missing talking to her right away. so i started reading it.
I've came to the conclusion that...
I am scared shitless of this.
I'm so scared that im conna mess this whole thing up.
I'm conna do something wrong and make it to the point where im conna lose her.
I'm so unbelievably in love with her and its only been about a week.
How can i say such a thing. especially to her. i must be crazy.
She is conna freak out on me soon enough for telling her that.
i dont want her to think that im pressuring her into anything
i wanna go slow and i wanna jus make sure everything works out perfectly for us.
but yet the other side of me wants to rush into it.
i wanna ask her out right now.
under the stars.
i wanna kiss her lips and hold her.
ill never let go.
jus hold her and think about how someday we could have a family, a life, everything of sure pleasure.
Please dont let me mess up.
Dear God,
I haven't spoken to you seriously since the incident with my father. I want you back in my life at this time. I want you to know that I'm willing to try with this. God, I met this girl. I'm head over heels in love with her. I know that you knew that but I enjoy telling everyone about her wether they know or not. I'll come see you Sunday. I promise. I'm so scared because it's been so long since I recieved you. Please don't be disappointed with me. I'm cleaning myself up. This girl is helping. Now I must go. I know that I'll talk to you again. I Love You.
Chaz
P.S. Please send cigarettes from heaven that aren't bad for me... :-(